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“Charles, I am sorry. I truly, truly sorry.”
Bewilderment made a home on Charles as he asked, “Sorry for what? For trembling? For looking as though you are becoming sick?”
Matilda fumbled her lips and clenched her teeth, fearing the words that needed to come out next. “No…I am in love with another man. I cannot hide it any longer. It is destroying me on the inside, and I am truly sorry for this.”
It was then that Charles wore a smile on his face. “Please, do not apologize for that, as I am in love with someone else as well. This confession of yours, it could not make me any happier.”
There was a bit of scepticism within Matilda. The relief outweighed it, but it was still there. Because the entire situation just appeared far too easy. The wonder was towards whether or not her mother had devised a plan to get her to confess her love for Aaron. But she did not know of Aaron, so how could that be? The smile on Charles’s face appeared authentic enough. But then again, what if he was smiling because he had tricked her into revealing her true heart? Then there was the matter of him loving someone else? Why would he say that if it was all just a secret plan? He would have no benefit to that.
Slowly, as Matilda unravelled the knots of doubt, she had come to the conclusion that Charles was telling the truth. After all, he was her friend and had no reason to lie to her. The beats in her chest grew slower, and her breath became a little bit normal. The excitement of the situation was left to still keep her nerves jittered, but it was tolerable.
“Are you being truthful with me?” Matilda asked. “You must understand my scepticism. This entire time I have lived in tremendous fear of a bad outcome. I was afraid that you’d be hurt. And I did not want to hurt you. That was the last thing that I wanted.”
Charles let out a reserved laugh. There was respect within it. “Matilda, we have known each other for a good amount of time. I would hope that we could be honest with one another. You would have allowed a proposal even though the feelings are not reciprocated? That to me is folly, and you should never sacrifice yourself like that. No one should.”
The relief that Matilda felt had surged. She had finally believed that the outcome presented was true. They were thinking the same thing, and she could not believe it. All of the fuss, all of the stress, it was essentially all for nothing.
“I sincerely appreciate that,” Matilda said, leaning her head up against the wall behind them for a moment. When she lifted it off, she then said, “So, you are in love with someone else too?”
Charles let out a full laugh that time, and it was as though the laugh was more for the matter that he just loved to hear it said out loud. In that, Matilda got the sense that whoever he loved, he was beyond happy about it. “Yes, she is a commoner girl, but she feels like anything but. I actually have not gotten to talk about her to anyone because, well, you know the circumstances of our lives. Everyone tends to dictate who we shall love, establishing our futures for us. But when the hearts wants someone else, they are forced into secrecy.”
Matilda could not fathom just how much she related o everything that Charles said. The entire time she had hidden her feelings from him, yet, they had been harbouring the same ones. She wanted to laugh out loud at the absurdity of it all.
“Who have you fallen in love with, if you don’t mind me asking. You know, we have been friends for so long, it is strange for me to think of you loving someone. In my eyes, you are just that girl who always loves to read.”
Matilda smiled at that, and she realized that it was the first smile she wore since probably the date with Aaron when they visited the hill. “He’s a free-spirited man who runs the stables. We met on a whim, and the moment that we did, I just could not free him from my mind. And then, the whole situation with you…I had become so conflicted.”
Charles nodded. “I felt the same way. When I met her, I wasn’t sure what was right or wrong. Our hearts sometimes desire what is wrong for us. That is why so many people cave to the hands of alcohol. But after some more time spent with her, despite the whispers in town, I began to listen and trust my heart. I think in our lives from this day on, that is always the way to go.”
“I firmly agree.”
And then, as if they shared a brain, they both eyed the very door that they had entered the room through.
“The revelation that we have shared with one another tonight, it cannot just live in this room. The people are the other side of that door are going to need to know.” Charles said in a voice that was far less enthusiastic than the one he had been using.
The idea frightened her, especially when it came to her mother. There was no telling how she would react. The last time that she got angry, all of Matilda’s books were taken away. Catherine was betting on them getting together. The desire for that to come to fruition was beyond evident in her eyes alone.
“I would be lying if I told you that I was not afraid,” Matilda confessed.
Charles looked at Matilda and replied, “I am afraid too, as it is never easy to let people down. But this,” He gestured to them both. “situation between us, you have to remember that it is not fair to us. It is not our responsibility to make those people out there happy at the expense of our own futures. Our hearts, remember we must listen to them.”
Matilda reflected on her friendship with Charles over the years, and she trusted him. She knew that whatever happened next, it would not mean the end of her life. She would survive just as she always had, just as the characters in her stories always had.
“Are you ready?” Charles asked.
“No, but that’s not going to stop me.”
Charles waited what had to be three seconds and then burst back into the room. The way he walked and straightened his posture while doing so gave Matilda a hint of confidence to the point where she was able to stand next to him. There were another few seconds as the room sent their attention to them both. Matilda made a point not to look anyone in their eyes, especially her mother, who she spotted first.
“I will not be proposing to Matilda Bishop tonight nor ever.”
Matilda found the courage to watch some of the people fall into bewilderment. It was actually somewhat humorous. She could not believe yet again what was happening right before her eyes, but she’d have it no other way.
As another few seconds filled the room with silence and whispers, Matilda waited for Charles to reveal the next piece of news that would only upset everyone further. That was what instilled a level of fear in her.
“We both love other people. And as we stand here before you all, we ask for your support.”
The fear only grew larger in Matilda as the room fell into an instant uproar. Matilda and Charles both shared an uncertain glace as the guests all changed their whispers into audible conversations. Never before had she heard what shock sounded like, but that was the noise that filled the room. People had turned into onlookers. But, with Charles by her side, there was a sense of calm within her still. He had a way about him that was good with people, something Matilda always felt she lacked. Maybe there would be a way that he could calm everyone down, including her mother.
It was a hopeful thought, one that was very short-lived, because Catherine’s face held contempt.
