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IT’S BEEN A week since I showed up here at Gabby’s doorstep heartbroken and in tears.
It still hurts to breathe.
She didn’t push me once for information. She did what any good friend would do when she pulled me in—wrapped me in a bear hug and let me cry.
She’s been trying to fix me all week with cheap boxes of wine, and unlimited ice cream but it’s only making my clothes tight.
I sit quietly crying, as I watch The Notebook for the eighth time. I’m numb and dead inside. I’ve never felt misery like this before, and I’m not sure it’s going away anytime soon.
Every day, I wake up thinking this will be the day I get him out of my head.
I spoke to Arie and had him remove my security detail. I made a rash decision, and now I’m regretful because I can’t bring myself to go back home after seeing it ransacked.
The first few days, Chase called and texted non-stop. I finally shut my phone off, ignoring his persistence. He must have given up, because now I’m checking it every five minutes hoping for something, but there’s nothing.
Nothing but the terrifying feeling I’ve lost him for good.
This is killing me.
I know I’ll never want anyone else the way I want him. Maybe throwing myself back into work next week will alleviate some of the misery, but I’m not overly confident. I’m not sure anything will help this unbearable ache in my chest.
How is it possible to feel this way about a man I barely know?
It’s Friday night, and now I get to be miserable all weekend, with nothing to keep my mind off the man who’s stolen my heart.
“Oh, honey, you look like death-took-a-holiday.” Gabby wrinkles her nose up in disgust. Probably since I’m in desperate need of a shower and these pajamas have become my second skin.
“That’s what happens when you’re dead inside.”
I was with my ex for three years, and even after I caught him banging the slutty nurse, it didn’t hurt this much. It’s just so raw and painful.
“Jesus, Whitney, you’re pathetic. You need to snap out of it. I thought a couple of boxes of Zinfandel and a few gallons of Ben and Jerry’s would do the trick, but I was dead wrong. You got it bad.”
“Duh!” I crumple another tissue, tossing it on the coffee table in front of me.
“You know what you need, Whitney? A girl’s night out.” Gabby flips off the television I wasn’t paying attention to anyway.
Now she’s just starting to irk me. “I don’t feel like going out, and why do you keep calling me Whitney?”
“Haven’t you seen the Bodyguard when Whitney Houston bangs hottie Kevin Costner?” I ball up another tissue and chuck it at her head. I snatch my kindle from the coffee table before laying back on the couch in the fetal position. All I need is book boyfriends.
“Just call him.”
“What? No way!”
Maybe…I should call him.
“Honey, you’re clearly not getting over this anytime soon.”
No shit.
“I don’t think he’s looking for a relationship. He needs to work through his demons, and I’m not ready to have my heart trampled on again.”
Gabby falls down on the couch next to me letting out a long sigh.
“Look, you’re miserable without him so why not take a chance? He seems like a good guy, and you deserve to be happy. All he needs is a little push. Maybe you’re just the girl to help him work through whatever it is he’s dealing with.”
“He stopped calling two days ago. I’m pretty sure he’s forgotten about me already.”
