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I can’t be pregnant. I just can’t. The universe wouldn’t be that cruel to me.
Claudette is waiting for me when I come out of the bathroom, her demeanor full of compassion. “Are you okay, darling?”
I shake my head. How could I possibly be okay?
“Could you be pregnant?”
“You’re the psychic. You tell me.”
“I could, but I might be wrong. It does happen on occasion,” she laughs. “Let’s get a pregnancy test. I’m sure the pharmacy on board sells them.”
“I’ve got one in my luggage.” Or three.
She doesn’t look surprised at my answer. “You suspected this?”
“I was hoping to be wrong.”
Claudette takes my arm gently and guides me to my room. “Go and find out. I’ll be in my room if you need me.” She gives me a hug, and I cling to her anxiously.
I stare at her and eventually nod.
Right, let’s get this over with.
There is still a chance it’s not true.
Let’s get the facts straight and then freak out… or not. But I’ve got the sinking feeling that freak out is on the horizon.
Locking the door behind me, I go to my suitcase and take out the pregnancy kits Miranda got for me in Switzerland.
My hands are shaking as I tear open the box and take out the instructions. I know how the tests work… it’s not rocket science, but I read the instructions anyway.
Pee on the test stick after taking off the cap, put the cap back on, lay it on a level surface and wait three minutes. One line, the test is negative but valid. Two lines, you’re pregnant.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
I’m scared!
Taking a deep breath, I go to the teeny tiny bathroom. I’m like a tinned sardine in here.
I sit on the toilet, pee on the stick, and place it on the bathroom counter. The first line immediately appears. The test is valid.
God, I feel sick!
I can’t even pace in this tiny space. So I sit on the closed lid, my legs bouncing up and down. I’m getting more nauseous with every second passing. How long has it been? Surely, three minutes are up.
Dare I look?
Please let it be negative. Please, please, please.
I peek at the stick. Still only one line.
Thank you, God. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I exhale deeply, my chest expanding freely for the first time in minutes.
My joy is short-lived.
As I pick up the stick to throw it out, a faint second pink line appears, and my eyes nearly pop out of my head.
