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I’m reminded of our time on the island when he let me in, showing vulnerability, even if only briefly. It made me feel like the most special person in his world.
His phone rings before I can answer. I’m glad because honestly, I don’t know what to say to him.
I’m horribly confused.
Gualtiero listens to the person talking on the other end of the line and then hangs up. “I have to go, angel,” he says, his voice heavy with regret. “I’ll see you for dinner tonight.”
He leans over and kisses my forehead, and as always, tingling sensations spread throughout my body at lightning speed…some things don’t seem to change.
His earnestness and tenderness this morning are chipping away at my defenses.
He gets out of bed and walks out of the door. “Tiero,” I call after him. I need to tell him what I overheard. He stops and turns to me.
“Last night I went to the kitchen for a glass of juice, I overheard some guys talking in German… actually it was one guy in particular, the others just seemed to listen. It sounded like they’re losing faith in your ability to handle whatever it is that’s going on at the moment. And they’re blaming me for your lack of focus.”
Tiero’s jaw clenches, and I can sense his tension levels rising. “Thanks, princess.” Is all he says before leaving.
And once more, I’m left alone with my jumbled thoughts and heavy heart.
I can’t deny I have feelings for Tiero. I suspect few people ever see his softer side, experience his caring, or hear the joy in his laughter.
That’s what I fell in love with.
But it’s only a small part of the man that is Gualtiero Leandro De Marco. And a part that gets locked behind iron cladding most of the time.
Could I love all of him? Could I try?
But the man also scares me like no other. That can’t be the basis of a healthy relationship.
I’d hate having to walk on eggshells or be careful about what I say or do. The carefree girl who would just blab whatever came to her mind would disappear quickly… she has already started to.
I might love him, but how can I be with someone I can’t be myself with?
I chuckle to myself as I roll onto my back. If this was a Mafia romance novel, I would love him despite everything he stands for. I would see what a good man he is underneath the facade, and he would see the light and transition out of this way of life.
But those books don’t depict reality.
I’m not even sure if Gualtiero is a good man.
I know very little about his business activities. And what I’m aware of is not good.
I want no part of that life.
I don’t want any involvement with people getting hurt or dying, or all the other far-reaching consequences of Gualtiero’s actions. All his power and wealth derive from darkness, from people suffering, and by exploiting weaknesses in human nature.
How could I stand by with a clear conscience and enjoy a happy life, living off the misery of thousands?
I can’t.
No matter what my feelings are for Tiero, I can’t reconcile them with what he does and who he is.
And it doesn’t take into consideration him forcing me to live in a golden cage and the safety risks that come with being his.
I have to find a way out of this and prepare for when another opportunity presents. I know it will. Maybe not tomorrow or next week. Maybe not even in a month, but it will happen, and I will be ready for it.
Failure is not an option.
Given how furious Gualtiero was, God knows what he’d do to me the next time… I’m certain I won’t get off as lightly as I did the other night.
