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I’m not sure how long we stay like this, hands joined together in a ring. All of me is buzzing with vitality. There’s an energy woven around and through us. It’s sparkling like diamonds, vibrant with life… which right now seems somehow non-different to death, yet I’m not confronted by it at all.
Everything but our essence falls away.
Suspended in timelessness… it’s magic.
I’m overcome with a sense that peace and wholeness are constellating together, this moment forging something… an unbreakable bond that’s been there all along and is now reinforced.
None of us speak, words are not needed, they couldn’t get close to describing this.
It’s alchemy, it’s soul nourishing… something that will last us for eternity.
Chapter Forty-Four
Ella
Afterourprofoundmomentat dawn, we sat in silence for some time, basking in the magic of feeling so completely whole.
Mateo then arrived, and Aiden and I left the room so the two brothers could spend one last hour together.
Now, Doctor Lanzo approaches. He’s Italy’s best heart surgeon and flew in from Florence yesterday. He’s Tiero’s final gift to me; as if he hadn’t given me everything already. But hiring the best surgeon he could find to ensure a successful transplant was for his peace of mind, as much as mine, he explained.
“Ready, Miss O’Neil?” the doctor asks, his demeanor solemn. I suppose it’s not every day that a life-support machine is purposefully turned off to save another person’s life. But it’s Tiero’s wish, and nobody would dare argue with him. Even on this deathbed, he wields power.
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I reply. All I feel is numb now. Our special moment from this morning is now a faraway memory.
Father Joseph is with Tiero, while Mateo, Aiden, and I are waiting in my room.
The final goodbye is looming over all of us, the atmosphere heavy with sorrow.
My eyes go to Mateo, who, in a few minutes, will have to shoulder the responsibility of leading an empire he doesn’t want.
He’s unreadable, a mask of composure that has to be fragile even as it appears strong. His face is hard, his eyes empty, resigned to his fate.
My heart breaks for him. He’s about to lose the only family he has left and his only friend.
So I go to him, not wanting him to be alone in this moment.
I’m sorry. That’s what I want to say when I open my mouth, but nothing comes out.
But Mateo reads it in my eyes. “It’s what he wants, Ella,” he says, looking so damn sad now. “And he’s happy he’s going on his terms. That’s rare in our family. He’s happy. That’s all that matters.”
I open my arms and draw him in, and he buries his face in my hair, hiding away for a few precious seconds to gather himself.
Doctor Romolo enters the room. “It’s time,” he announces. My stomach drops to the center of the earth.
No! I’m not ready for this.
Aiden takes my hand and pulls me close to him. He kisses my forehead, and looking deeply into my eyes, he gives me the reassurance I need. “You can do this, Sunshine. You are one of the strongest women I know. Youcando this.” Letting out a long breath, I nod.
With a heavy heart, we walk the short distance to Tiero’s room. Outside it I spot part of the transplant team ready to jump into action.
They’re just waiting for him to die.
The thought makes my heart squeeze tight in my chest, the pressure nauseating. I feel faint.
Hot tears run down my cheek.
I can’t do this. I’m not strong enough to say goodbye to this man. I can’t watch him die.
