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“You’re being very harsh on yourself,” Aiden interjects. He’s pulled a chair next to mine and is stroking my thigh.
“Am I? Or just realistic?”
“You have the most loving relationship with Rhia,” he points out.
“Yes, and perhaps that’s my saving grace and why I’ve been given another chance. She saw me undervaluing myself all along, always encouraging me to ditch Marco. I didn’t listen to her for a long while. It took him cheating on me for me to wake up. Looking at it now, I’m glad he did it when he did.”
“But you woke up, and that’s what matters. You didn’t take him back… you showed strength, and perhaps that was your awakening.”
“I agree with Aiden,” Tiero speaks up for the first time. “You’ve learned your lesson. You are valuing yourself now. Maybe I helped you with that. Maybe because of all that I represent, I connected with your pure qualities and helped you recognize your own value. I opened you up to a whole new way of being. Despite your love for me, you wouldn’t compromise your values. It takes guts and strength to do that… you ran from me, knowing I’d always come after you.”
Hmm, I hadn’t considered that. I guess he’s right. And it’s strange… there really is a sense of freedom in realizing I’ve grown through all the trauma.
“Thank you both. I hadn’t considered the reasons why I find myself in this situation. There’s no history of heart problems in my family. Talking this through… it’s so much clearer now how our choices play out as outcomes. Wow… we can choose our destiny if only our eyes are open.”
I take Aiden’s hand and kiss the top of it gently, then I do the same with Tiero’s. Our eyes go to him. “What’s your life lesson, il leone?” I ask with a wink. I feel so much lighter, jovial even.
Tiero’s gaze grows distant as he thinks. And I know that if he could lift his hand, he’d rub his chin. “This heart energy… up until you entered my life, Ella, I lived in a heartless world. Except for Mateo, I rarely considered other people’s feelings or emotions. They were only an obstacle in the way of running our business efficiently. The day we met, you saved my life… it’s true on many levels.” He pauses, thinking.
“You infused it with light. All along, I said it was yours. And now it really is. Did part of me know this was coming? Was it all predestined? Who knows and who cares? It doesn’t change a thing. I lived a material life. I can see now that I had my chances to get out, just like that dream told me when I was a boy. I just didn’t take them. So perhaps this is my punishment… just that it isn’t.
“I’m choosing this. I’m choosing my destiny. It’s harder than I want, but no more than I deserve. The universe is meeting me where I’m at, but you could also say it’s helping me along. I never imagined I would meet my end like this, though.
“So what is my life lesson? Listen to your gut? No, that can’t be it, because I usually did except for those few times when there was a fork in my path and I could have taken an out. But I had deliberately forgotten about that dream.
“I lived a material life, and now it’s costing me everything. So hopefully, if there is a next life, I will have learned to listen to my heart when I’m dealing with those around me and when deciding what to do with my life.”
Tiero’s eyes well up and tear after tear streams down his face. He’s so vulnerable right now, and my heart overflows with love for this man.
Those tears aren’t tears of sorrow but flow in acceptance of his fate. Like cleaning a window provides a better view.
An air of peace settles over the room and as I look into the faces of my two soul mates, it’s visible there too.
And that remarkable, sagacious Claudette was right again.Take stock and be free together. I pull out my phone and send her a quick text; she deserves to know.
Me: Tiero’s realization was to not close his heart to others and himself, mine to value and love myself more and be vigilant of who and what to give my heart energy to, especially not to waste it, and Aiden’s is his vocation of infusing his work with love… I think we did what we needed to do.
Claudette: If you have learned these lessons, it makes for a well-rounded soul, your lives spent well.
Me: Love you. Thanks for everything.
My poor heart sings, my body is light. I’m happy and at peace.
I take Aiden’s hand in mine and then reach for Tiero’s. And just like the first time I was physically connected with them like this in Brazil, the same current flows through and between us.
The air grows heavy… time is slowing.
The magnitude of our connection is anchoring me yet giving me wings.
“Can you feel this too?” I ask, my voice husky.
Both Tiero’s and Aiden’s eyes are closed. They nod.
“Close the loop,” I request softly. Their eyes shoot open and they look at me with skepticism. “Let’s make a full circle.”
Aiden reluctantly sits down on the edge of the bed and reaches out his hand to touch Tiero’s. Tiero hesitates, but then turns his hand over, his fingers brushing Aiden’s.
A jolt of electricity runs through me. Tiero must feel it too, and not a second later, he curls his fingers around Aiden’s.
