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Watching Ella fall asleep was harder than facing enemy fire. Though the outcome is just as unknown, at least facing an enemy, I can fall back on my training, my mind, my instincts, knowing I can influence whatever happens.
Here, I have nothing. My skills, mind, and instincts are useless. My fate is completely in the hands of others. I’ve never felt more helpless.
I had no choice but to put the woman who means more than anything else in this world to me in the care of people who do not even know her. Do they realize how precious she is? My fingers close over the rings in my palm; they give me something to hold on to… a lifeline—I need it.
This last week has been hell. I’m exhausted to my marrow, and I’m sure I have gray hairs now, having aged a hundred years. How can you fit a lifetimes’ worth of drama into a few days?
It hasn’t even been a week since we learned about Ella’s heart problem. And now here she is getting a transplant, when her chances of ever finding a heart were close to zero. She’s receiving a heart from a man who’s haunted my dreams, whom I only met for the first time eight days ago when he pointed a gun at my head. And now he’s dead and my Sunshine is fighting for her life.
FUCK. How did this all happen?
I should join the others in the waiting room, but I can’t stand the thought of company. My life, my heart, my soul is in that operating theater; I want to be as close to her as possible.
Please, God, please bring her back to me. Our story is only just beginning.
I am not as strong as Tiero. How did he find the resolve to give her up? It’s beyond me.
She has to live. I need her in my life. She just has to live.
Becky finds me sitting in Ella’s room by myself, my head in my hands. I want to cry. Yet I know that won’t help.
“The others are wondering where you are,” she says gently. “They’re worried about you.”
I let out a long breath. Perhaps being with the others will make the hours pass more quickly.
Four hours, Doctor Lanzo had informed us… it would take about four hours to do the transplant. A quick glance at my watch shows only forty minutes have passed so far.
Fuck.This is going to be the longest wait of my life.
I stand up and follow Becky to the lounge area where all the people who love and cherish Ella have assembled.
Rhia rushes towards me and throws her arms around my neck. Tears are glistening in her eyes.
“What’s happening, Aiden? Where have you been? And why didn’t Ella say goodbye?” There is hurt in her voice, but more than anything frantic worry.
“I’m sorry, Rhia. Ella was so upset by Tiero’s passing, she said she couldn’t face saying goodbye to you. It would have broken her. She asked me to give you this ring and to tell you to hold onto it for her until after the surgery.” I give her the ring that clearly means a lot to both girls. It makes Rhia cry harder.
She stares at the little circle of friendship in her hand and then at the identical one on her finger, seeming to have an epiphany. “Oh my god, now I know why I had to find these again. Everything is so interconnected,” she whispers in awe.
It triggers my own realizations of how perfectly everything has been playing out.
Choked up, I say, “Rhia, thank you for encouraging Ella to have this relationship with Tiero.” She looks at me, dumbfounded. Yeah, it’s not something I would have ever expected to be grateful for. “If it wasn’t for you, it probably wouldn’t have happened and now everything is falling into place.”
Rhia’s tears are still falling as we hug. When she lets go, Lex comes over to take her into his arms. “I’m so glad we have you guys in our lives now. I don’t know if I or Ella could have managed this on our own,” Rhia says through her tears.
Lex kisses his girl’s eyelids gently, first the left, then the right. I’ve seen him do this a few times. It never fails to calm her. Those two were really made for each other. Lifting her up like a bride, he carries her back to the couch and sits down with her in his lap, rubbing soothing circles on her back.
I look around at all the people assembled in this waiting room. None of them begrudge the long journey to Italy, all eager to be here when Ella wakes up. And she will wake up, I tell myself for the umpteenth time since Ella was taken away from me. There’s no other way.I refuse to contemplate a life without her.
She’s touched so many lives, helped so many people, and the core of them are assembled here or are on their way, ready to give back.
My gaze wanders over everyone. Rhia is cradled in Lex’s lap, his arms tightly wound around her. He’s rocking her ever so slightly, and I know she’s still crying. She doesn’t seem able to stop.
Her entire family is here; her parents,Connor and his girlfriend, and Zoe—all staring somberly into space.
The door opens, and my entire crew enters. Shelby pushes Axel’s wheelchair, while Ethan walks in quietly, holding Trina’s hand. Garrett follows with an unusually subdued Miranda by his side. Next are Gary, Helen, and Marnie. But it’s when my mom comes in last that my eyes well up. Getting to my feet, I embrace her and don’t let go. I didn’t realize how much I need her and all the others here… Ineed their support.
“It will be all right, Aiden,” she soothes. “Ella will be okay.” Can she really make me this promise?
