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Matt tries not to notice the fact that Neil does not once look at Ava, tries to ignore the pain this causes in his chest. This is all so different from how they once were. To varying degrees, they are, all four of them, still flying backwards in the blast of what happened, arms and legs flailing. Perhaps they all still feel the stain – of the statementsjust for procedurethat they knew deep down were to test if their stories checked out, of phone numbers handed over, of dogs sniffing through their private things. Yes, they all must still feel it, he feels sure, because he certainly does. Once the investigation was put under review, the heat died down; they said they’d get together soon, just the four of them. But soon became two weeks. Ava fell ill. By the time she left the clinic, weeks had become months, her belly had rounded and the landscape had changed. Neil suggested they try for a 10K, a triathlon. But they never did get together just the four of them.
Until tonight.
‘Did Neil tell you we’re hoping to have our kitchen done next year?’ Bella says, topping up her glass with the fizz Neil has left. ‘And the loft. Neil’s going to take three months off, aren’t you, babe?’
Neil rolls his eyes.
‘Off,’ he says, making Matt laugh.
Bella hits him on the knee. ‘You know what I mean.’ She glances up at Matt, then at Ava, as if for reassurance. ‘Neil knows what I want better than anyone.’
‘You still talking about the building work?’ Neil quips, eliciting a mock-outraged screech from his wife.
‘No, but seriously though,’ she battles on. ‘I can’t wait to see what the Lovegoods have done with theirs. I’ve got my notebook with me, haven’t I, Nee? And I’m gonna take photos!’ She gives a wicked chuckle and Matt realises she is serious. ‘Actually, do you think they’ll mind if I take photos?’
‘Oh, I’m sure Rubber Johnnie will love that.’ Neil shakes his head, tips his beer bottle to his lips and drains it.
Matt reaches into the fridge for another and hands it to him; he takes it with a nod and a thumbs up.
Matt frowns at him. ‘You OK?’
Neil shrugs. Thankfully, the women have begun their own conversation. Ava is holding Bella’s fingers, her head bent forward. ‘Dark taupe,’ Matt overhears, and, ‘A winter neutral really,’ before he tunes out.
‘We won’t be staying long,’ Neil says in a low voice.
‘You really don’t like him, do you?’
He shivers – actually shivers. ‘I just had enough of being treated like the staff when I worked for him, d’you know what I mean? I tell you what, if he condescends to me tonight, I’ll punch his lights out.’
‘Condescending means talking down to people – you know that, don’t you?’
Neil laughs. ‘Sod off.’
‘You won’t punch anyone and you know it.’
‘I know, but…’
‘But what? You’re successful, good at your job, beautiful wife, nice house. You’ve got everything he’s got. What is it about him that gets to you so much?’
Neil moves his head about, as if to free up a stiff neck. ‘I dunno. He’ll, like, tell you he wants something a certain way, and when you tell him no problem, he’ll tell you how to do it anyway. It’s little things. Little undermining comments. Like, oh, is that howyoudo it? sort of thing, implying stuff all the time. Like, he didn’t have an architect, which is fair enough. But it’s thewayhe tells you he hasn’t. He’s all like, architects, what do they know? sort of thing.’
‘Well, exactly.’
Neil smiles – just. ‘He wouldn’t have used you anyway, would he, but… nah… I mean, that’s so him, thinking he can do someone else’s job when the biggest joke of it is, he can’t do his own. I saw him working out the numbers for the steels on the back of an envelope, literally, I’m not even joking – back of a flyer, anyway – and when they came they were a foot too short.’
Matt nods. ‘I don’t remember you mentioning that.’
‘No, well, you had… you had other things to worry about, mate. I’d only just got the steels in when… But no, the guy’s a knob. We had a massive bust-up about it. I was like, mate, it wasn’t me who ordered the sodding beams, you know? I mean, how can that be my fault? I know I’m good, but I can’t work miracles.’
‘So he’s slapdash?’
‘Slapdash?’ Neil snorts. ‘What century are you in, mate? Sloppy? Is that what you mean? Too right, yeah. He’s too quick, everything in a rush. I mean, how’s it my fault if the beams are too short? Idiot had to be happy with feature alcoves in the end, daft git. Not like I can rebuild a steel, is it? Rebuilt his outside wall though. For free. Most extensions have a line where the new build starts, yeah? Well, I knocked it down for him so that the bricks blended in to the original house. Did he suggest that? No, that was my idea. Did he say thanks? Did he f—’
‘Shall we go?’ Bella is lowering herself off her stool. She pulls a mirror from her bag and pushes a lick of brown lipstick over her mouth with an impressive, deft circular sweep.
Matt meets Ava’s eye. It’s no more than a second before she looks away, but still, it is long enough to communicate her deep reluctance. He has betrayed her – that’s how it feels. He has pushed her too hard.
But how will they ever move on with their lives if they don’t start living them?
