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“Well, duh. But what, specifically, is going on here?”
Running a hand over the side of my face, I shake my head. “You don’t need to know. The less you know, the safer you are.”
“Safe from what? Daddy?” I don’t say anything, and she frowns. “What did he do to you?”
Swallowing, I level her with a stony look. “You already know the answer to that.”
She starts to say something else, to dispute my claims, I’m sure, but the clock on my phone changes. I twist around, checking the little result window as butterflies somersault in my stomach, bile churning close to the base of my throat.
My heart sinks to my feet, and without another word, I wrap the test in toilet paper and drop it into the hanging trash receptacle.
I grab Juliet’s hand and push the stall door open, resigning myself to a fate that, once again, I didn’t fucking ask for.
RESTING MY CHIN in my palm, I stare at the amber liquid in my martini glass, aware that the two don’t go together. Like Elia and me, two materials cut from a different cloth, brought together because I’m an idiot.
I raided his office liquor cabinet half an hour ago, trying to work out in my brain my next move. The glass sits on the edge of the pool, completely untouched, but I can’t stop glaring at it.
“I’m so stupid,” I say out loud, the sound echoing off the pool water around me, falling on closed ears.
Leo sits on a chaise lounge with his feet flat on the floor, posture rigid and alert. Ready for an attack that never comes. His head turns slightly, a silent acknowledgment, but that’s all I get. I’m sure he thinks I’m a crazy person.
Juliet pushes open the French doors at the back of the house, carrying a tray of store-bought chocolate chip cookies on her hip. “Here, I brought you this, courtesy of Liv. I don’t know why she couldn’t bring them herself, but whatever. When I pointed that out, she asked if I wanted to single-handedly run a social media font launch. I had no idea what that even meant, so I got the hell out of there.” Plucking two out of the container, she shrugs. “Anyway, she saidFocaccia’smakes the best emergency dessert in Maine.”
I nod, catching the two she tosses me, working hard to maintain balance while stretched out on the float. “They add a pinch of salt to most of their dishes; the combination of the sweetness and saltiness adds a deliciousness that is unparalleled.”
She raises an eyebrow, glancing at Leo, and then drops to her butt, hooking her legs over the edge of the pool and letting them dangle in the water. Leo gets up and heads inside. “How’re you holding up?”
“Well,” I say, plopping a bite of cookie into my mouth and gesturing around us, “I’m sitting in the middle of an eight-foot-deep pool, and I don’t know how to swim. How do you think I’m holding up?”
“I’m pretty sure even newborn babies know how to swim, Care. You can’t even doggy paddle?”
“Nope. And can we ix-nay the baby talk?”
She kicks her feet, slicing against the water. “If you fell in, maybe the baby would send information to your brain for survival, and the ability to swim would just kind of kick in. Like a shot of adrenaline, from your peanut.”
I groan, throwing my free hand over my eyes and shielding myself from the sun.It’d be a great day for the star to implode.“Jules, shut up.”
Shrugging, she tilts her chin up toward the sky, and I can’t help but wonder if she’s uttering her own silent prayer, and what that might entail. The realization that I’ve spent my whole life just trying to protect my sister without actually getting to know her hits me hard, like a sucker punch to the gut, and tears prick behind my eyes.
“This is the twenty-first century, you know.”
“I’m aware. Your point?”
“I don’t know. You don’thaveto keep it if you don’t want to. If it causes more problems than it solves.”
“It doesn’t really solve anything.”
“Well…” she draws the word out, trailing off. Sliding my hand from my eyes and settling the remaining cookie on my stomach, I cock my head at her, waiting for more. Her toes point forward as her head drops, chin grazing the locket around her neck. “Take care of it, then, before it gets you into trouble.”
Unease settles on the floor of my belly like a poison spreading through my body, rotting me from the inside. “Can we talk about something else?”
“Like what?”
“Like... how’s school?”
She makes a face, puckering her lips together. “It’s school, Caroline. Boring and uneventful.”
“There’s nothing wrong with boring. God, I’d welcome some of that at this point.”
