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“Of course, you would.”
My eyebrows raise, my cookie leaving chocolate residue on my skin. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“No offense, Caroline, but you’re not really looking for an adventure.”
There’s a pinch in my heart, and I let out a soft, surprised laugh. “Now, why would that offend me?”
“It shouldn’t. I don’t mean it to, anyway. I just…” She reaches up, sweeping blonde hair off her shoulders, and leans back on the concrete on her palms. “This is almost the exact life you had planned out for yourself, and you’re not even sure if you want to continue it, because it might not be easy.”
“That’s not—”
She holds her hands up, cutting me off. “I know, that’s not what youthinkthe problem is. But you need to seriously take a step back and look at your life and see if it’s not fear holding you back. Clouding your decisions. Before you do something you can’t take back.”
Crossing my arms over my chest, I focus my gaze on the highest point of the mansion, the white brick chimney that shines bright against the blue backdrop of the sky. “There’s so much more going on, Jules. Stuff you can’t understand.”
“That Ican’tunderstand, or that youwon’texplain to me?” She withdraws her legs from the water, hiking her jean shorts up, and shakes the water from each limb. Her blue gaze is steely, annoyance flickering there, and an ache flares up in my temple. “I get that I’ve not been the best sister, that I haven’t always believed you when I should have. And I get that there’s not a lot I can do to make up for it all. But I’m trying here, Caroline, and you’re not giving me anything. Who are you even trying to protect? Me, which has been your self-imposed calling card since I was born, or yourself?”
My mouth drops open, tongue poised on a retort, but nothing ever comes. The back door opens, my husband’s suited form appearing on the patio and effectively ending our heart-to-heart.
“Ah, the only in-law still speaking to me.” Elia smiles, clapping Juliet’s shoulder and shaking her with the impact.
She doesn’t move her gaze from mine, though. “I was just leaving. Think about what I said, okay? I’ll see you at the gala next week.”
Stealing a few cookies from the tray on the ground, she stuffs them into her pocket and leaves, letting herself out through the French doors. Elia watches the door drift closed, and then walks to the edge of the pool, hands in his pockets, Ray-Bans perched low on his nose.
Jesus, how does he get more attractive every time I see him?
He clears his throat, Adam’s apple working against his throat in a way that makes my pussy pulse. “I’ve never seen you in this pool.”
“You won’t be seeing me get out of it, either.”
An eyebrow perks up, intrigued, lighting my body like a three-wick candle. I shove my extra cookie into my mouth, buying time. The reaction my body has to him doesn’t have to mean anything, right?
It doesn’t matter that having him home makes me feel safe, that him standing near me makes me want to climb him like a fucking tree.
Some of that is just hormones... right?
“I don’t know how to swim,” I admit. Better than the alternative word vomit, which I’m not sure I should bring up. Sure, he has a right to know, but if I don’t want to keep it... does it even matter? You can’t mourn something you don’t know exists, right?
And yet, there’s a hollowness in my thoughts, ripping apart my insides with indecision.
“No one ever taught you?”
I shrug. “Guess they didn’t think it was important. Weird, considering we’re a lake town, and we spent a lot of time fundraising on Koselomal when I was a kid.”
He shakes his head, glancing down at the dessert tray by his foot. “Juliet brought cookies? You didn’t bake anything today?”
“I wasn’t really feeling up to it.”
Alarm flashes behind his eyes, and he’s discarding his jacket and rushing into the pool before I have a chance to amend my sentence. He swims over in record time, his strokes clean and lithe, and my mouth actually fucking waters watching his back muscles ripple in the water.
Coming up beside my float, he grasps the corner by my feet with his palms, steadying himself. I smile, poking his chest with my toe—bad move, because his dress shirt sticks to the hard planes of his chest, dark nipples puckering beneath the material. My toe seems to have a direct line of communication to my vagina because the second I make contact with the material, a jolt of electricity shoots through me.
I bite my cheek to repress the moan threatening to escape. “You know I wasn’t in any danger, right?”
He breathes heavy, his eyes alight with a mixture of emotions I can’t quite decipher. “Mio amore, I wish that were the truth.” Swimming around to where the top half of my body is, he presses the palm of his hand to my forehead. I pray he can’t see how my own nipples have stiffened under my bikini top. “Are you okay? You’ve only just been released from brain rest.”
“I’mfine. Seriously, you didn’t need to ruin a good suit just to jump in here, you insane person.”
