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Mama shook her head. “Nä,Leefste,Mr. Goertz surely recognized the ability in Gil, but he didn’t teach it to him. Skills are taught. Giftedness is bestowed by the Maker.”
A chill wiggled its way down Ava’s spine. “Mama, I’ve been so angry at Gil for going away. I felt as if he chose music over me. But if his ability is a gift from the One who crafted him, to not utilize it would be blasphemous.” Her thoughts bounced as erratically in her mind as a tumbleweed tossed by the wind. “Which means that going to New York was right for him, no matter how hard it was.”
“Doing God’s will is rarely the easy thing, but it’s always the best thing.”
Ava briefly considered asking why God chose difficult pathways for His followers, but it seemed unkind considering the road Mama now walked daily. So she forced a smile and little nod.
“I know his leaving was hard for you.” Mama cupped her hand over Ava’s. “It was hard for him, too, going without you. I’ve prayed that you would set aside your anger.”
Ava hung her head. “I think I stayed angry to cover up how much I hurt. And no matter how much seeing him do what he’s meant to do inspired me, it’s still not easy to know he’s in town but he’s not…not…”
Mama squeezed Ava’s hand. “Not your beau?”
Staring at Mama’s slender, vein-lined hand, Ava nodded.
“Do you think he could be again?”
Not unless he gave up seeking a career in music. And he wouldn’t do so. Or, perhaps more accurately, heshouldn’tdo so. Not if he was utilizing a God-planted gift. Ava’s heart panged. She stood and moved away from the pair of chairs to the opposite side of the parlor, then she turned and faced her mother. “No.” Her chest felt so tight, taking a breath hurt. She shook her head hard. “No.”
“Why not?”
Ava released a disbelieving huff. “Because his life is in New York. My life is here.”
“Whatisyour life, Ava?”
Mama’s pensive query made Ava squirm. She turned her gaze aside and contemplated her life. It was a busy one. She filled the hours by seeing to her parents’ house, animals, and garden, providing baked goods to Dirks Café, and attending church and community events. Her days were full, yet her heartfelt so empty. Perhaps taking over the café would bring her fulfillment. Miss Dirks was becoming more insistent each time Ava made a delivery. Ava enjoyed cooking and baking. She’d probably do quite well. But if she took over the business, she might as well put up a sign proclaiming her intention to remain a spinster.
The longing for her own home and family twined through her. Maybe she should set aside her stubbornness and accept Joseph Baty’s attentions. Joseph’s family and his livelihood were right here in Falke. She could still see to her parents’ needs if she lived nearby. Marrying Joseph seemed the best way to build the life she wanted. But how could she marry Joseph when her heart still pined for another man?
Ava slowly returned and crouched in front of her mother. “My life is…stuck at a fork in a road, and I don’t know which way to turn.”
Tenderness glowed in Mama’s soft hazel eyes. She gave Ava’s cheek a gentle caress.
Ava gathered her courage. “Mama, you said you’ve prayed for me to release my anger at Gil.”
“I have.”
She placed her hands on Mama’s knees. “Will you pray something else for me?”
“Of course.”
Ava drew a fortifying breath. “Will you pray that the affection I’ve harbored for Gil will leave me? Falke is a small town. I won’t be able to avoid him, and seeing him picks loose the scab from my old wound. If my love for him leaves, I’ll be healed of the hurt. Then I’ll be able to choose my road.”
Mama gazed into Ava’s face for several seconds, her expression unreadable. Then she stroked Ava’s hair, the touch light and tender. “Ava, my daily prayer is for God to reveal Hisperfect plan for your life and help you walk in it.” Her hand slipped to Ava’s cheek and lingered there. “I will pray, but you must pray, too. You must listen for and heed His voice. Will you do so?”
Former prayers—for her brothers to survive the illness, for Mama to fully recover, for Gil to stay in Falke with her—flitted through Ava’s mind. In each situation, God had done the opposite of what she asked. She had little confidence that any prayer she sent heavenward would find a compassionate ear, but she wouldn’t devastate her mother by saying so. Not only had Mama passed down a gift for music, but she’d also passed her faith to her children. Ava didn’t dare confess she struggled with knowing whether God really cared.
She smiled, allowing Mama to read the wordless reply however she chose. She pushed to her feet with a sigh. “Papa should be home soon. Do you want to wait for him here, perhaps knit a little more, or would you rather go to bed?”
“I’ll wait, but I’m finished knitting for the evening.” Mama released a rueful chuckle. “Maybe I should knit. I may never finish this lap blanket at the rate I’m going. But I’m getting sleepy, and I’d rather end the evening with some Bible reading.”
Ava knew where Mama kept her beloved Book—on the stand beside her bed. “Would you like me to fetch it for you?”
“Please.”
Ava headed for the hallway, but a commotion outside brought her up short. She hurried to the window and pulled the lace curtain aside. The sun had gone down and shadows shrouded the yard, but she made out the shapes of two men running toward the house.
“What is happening, Ava?”
