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She couldn’t be certain who was more surprised she agreed, him or herself, but the delight in Gil’s expression made her happy she’d conceded. She followed him across the yard and entered the house. Roald was on the far end of the settee, Timmy at the opposite end, and a checkerboard rested on the cushion between them. The pair glanced up, greeted Ava with smiles, then returned their attention to the game.
Gil set the tray of food on the table and gestured to the box next to the stove. “There they are. Take a look.”
She crossed to the box and crouched, gripping her hands against her stomach so she wouldn’t reach in and frighten themother. Gazing down at the little brood, her heart rolled over. Ach, they were so sweet—a calico, two tabbies, and two white babies, one of which had rusty tips on its ears. So tiny and helpless yet securely nestled in a heap with their mama. Desire to cradle one of the kittens beneath her chin nearly overwhelmed her. How she wanted to hold one of the babies. How she wanted to hold her own baby.
She shouldn’t have come. She bolted upright and scurried away from the box, still pressing her hands against her waist. “Thank you for letting me see them. When they open their eyes, please let me know if the pure white one’s eyes are blue.”
“I will.” Gil’s forehead scrunched. “Are you all right?”
She wasn’t, but she would be as soon as she was home. Away from the man on whom she’d once pinned her hopes and dreams for a family. She moved on shaky legs to the door. “Set the tray of dishes on the porch when you’re finished. Papa will retrieve them later. Good evening, everyone.”
“Thank you for supper,” Mr. Willems called as she dashed out the door.
Ava hurried home, scolding herself the whole way. She must get her foolish heart into alignment with her head. But how, when every encounter with Gil took her backward in time? His simple mention of Princess reminded her how much they’d once shared. They’d bonded over great loss—his parents and her brothers—and grown together from best friends to devoted sweethearts. He was woven into her life’s tapestry, and she couldn’t pull those threads without unraveling who she was. But their relationship ended four years ago. The reasons for their separation were still in place. She had to weave a new life without him.
She paused at the base of her porch stairs and stared at the pair of chairs where she and Gil had spent so many summerevenings, sometimes talking, sometimes stargazing, sometimes lost in each other’s eyes. She murmured, “That was then. Then is over.” Truth. Yet her feelings for him were still trapped in “then.” When would Mama’s prayers finally be answered and give Ava peace?
Maybe she should find her own peace instead of waiting on God, who might never answer. She had two options for the rest of her life. She could accept Miss Dirks’s offer to sell her the café or accept Joseph’s attentions. If she was truthful with herself, even if she was capable of running a café, she’d rather cook and bake for her own family than for customers. Which made Joseph’s bid to become her beau the preferred option. She stood very still, seeking her heart for its response. Only unsettledness nibbled at her. She released a little huff. Now was not the time for deep contemplation. She had work to do. She trudged up the steps and entered the house.
When Papa arrived a few minutes past five, Ava had supper hot and ready to serve. She and her parents sat around the little table in the kitchen and ate. Mama picked at her food so much that Papa finally asked if she was ill.
Mama offered a weary smile. “Not ill.A little tired. That’s all.”
“Well, then,” Papa said, “you should stay home this evening and rest.”
Mama sighed. “I hate to miss Bible study.”
“There will be other Bible studies.” Papa’s tone turned firm. “I’ll stay with you, and Ava can share the scriptures with us later.”
Ava cringed. She hated attending service without her parents, sitting alone while families surrounded her. “I’ll stay home, too.”
“Nä. How would it look, the whole Flaming family not showing up? You prepare to go, Ava. I’ll take care of cleaning up our dishes after I hitch the horse to the carriage for you.” He rose and then bent and placed a kiss on Mama’s temple. “Go lie down now.” He strode out of the kitchen.
Ava changed into a fresh dress and entered the barn as Papa was returning to the house. He gave her a hug and reminded her to take care on the drive, as he always did when she set out. Still holding her to his chest, he said, “I know you’d rather not go by yourself. Why not ask Gil to ride with you? He’s been taking the delivery wagon to the church, but there’s no sense in that. There’s plenty of room in our carriage for him.”
Ava wriggled loose and gawked at her father. “If Gil and I come riding into the churchyard together, what will people think?”
“They’ll think Gil needed a ride.” He stepped around her and headed for the door. “Now go. Hurry, before he has his horse hitched up again. The beast has already put in a day’s work. It needs rest, too.”
Ava blew out a breath of irritation. She considered disobeying Papa and driving straight to the church. But the long-ingrained teaching to honor her father and mother stomped the notion. She climbed up into the carriage, hoping Gil would already be gone.
Let him be gone already.
Not really a prayer. More a command. But it was all she could muster. She drove the carriage around the barn to the street and turned toward Mr. Willems’s house. Up ahead, the delivery wagon with Mr. Willems’s horse lazing in its traces waited at the edge of the street. Ava sent a brief frown skyward. Why did God never listen to her?
She stopped her carriage and carefully climbed over the side, holding her skirts. As her feet met the ground, Mr. Willems’s door opened and Timmy Dirks burst out, followed by Gil.
The boy raced up to her, all smiles. “Good evening, Miss Flaming. Thank you for supper. It was real good. Even the peas. I don’t usually like peas, but I mixed them with the potatoes and liked them a whole lot better. Did you come back with dessert?”
Gil lightly gripped the back of the boy’s neck. “Timmy, where are your manners? You don’t beg for desserts.” Gil made a show of looking at Ava’s empty hands. “Especially when it’s obvious she forgot.”
Ava’s face flamed. Teasing again! He’d always been able to coax her from her occasional sour moods during her teen years. She slammed the door on the memories. “I didn’t forget. There are no band practices and the café is closed on Wednesdays, so I don’t bake on Wednesdays.” She tried to sound tart, but her traitorous voice emerged on a note of amusement. She cleared her throat. “Papa sent me to see if you’d like a ride to the church, since I’m going alone. Mama is under the weather, and Papa is staying with her.”
“It’s nothing serious, is it?”
His genuine concern once again stirred embers of affection in her chest. She shook her head, attempting to extinguish the spark. “She’s only tired.”
“That’s good.” Gil scratched his chin. “Going together makes sense, and taking your carriage instead of the delivery wagon will give the three of us more room. I’ll need to unhitch Roald’s horse first. Do you mind waiting?”
