AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I didn’t mean to kiss her. At least, I don’t think I did. Everything after leaving Macy’s was kind of a blur. The crowd, and then my dizziness, and Cazzie leading me to safety and stroking my cheek and whispering to me that everything was going to be okay.
And then I was kissing her.
And oh, what a good kiss it was! The moment my lips touched hers, it was like electricity was surging from her body into mine, a connected circuit of insatiable lust. She pressed her body against mine, allowing me to feel every gorgeous curve. Her mouth opened hungrily for my tongue, and she made a tiny mewling noise deep in her throat. For a few seconds while we kissed, everything felt right in the world. For a few seconds, I felt safe.
Then I was pushing her away from me. She gazed up at me in confusion, face flushed and chest heaving as she caught her breath. Her eyes were brown orbs that seemed to drink the light, and I wanted nothing more than to keep kissing her.
Instead, I blurted out, “I knew you weren’t a lesbian!”
She gave a start. “I’m… I…”
The burning desire that was in my chest twisted into something angrier. “Why would you lie to me, Caz?”
“It’s not you. I’ve been telling people that for years. How did you know?”
“My moms told me. And then you slipped up the other day in the car and mentioned the guy with asthma. You recovered pretty well, but I could tell you were flustered. Why didn’t you tell me then? Why did you keep lying?”
“I don’t know,” she said, crossing her arms protectively.
Her lack of an answer only made me angrier. “I don’t believe this.”
“Luke…”
“You know, my moms have dealt with a lot of shit over the years because of who they are. Theysufferedbecause of it. They had to ignore disgusted looks from the other parents, and gossipy whispers at football games. And you use their identity as a fuckingshield?”
“You’re right. I should have told you sooner,” she said, putting a hand on my arm.
I shook off her touch. “This is the women’s room. I don’t belong here.”
Cazzie followed me out of the bathroom. The crowd of fans was still gathered in the hall, but I ignored them and hurried toward the exit near my car. Cazzie must have sent warning glares at the fans, because none of them tried to intercept me. We drove home in silence. I immediately went into my room and closed the door. I put on my headphones and listened to a podcast, because I didn’t want to hear her if she knocked on the door. But I struggled to focus on the podcast. My mind was racing. I was furious with Cazzie, and I honestly wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t just because of my moms. It was something deeper that was bothering me.
Maybe it’s the kiss.I replayed the events of the bathroom in my head. Her breasts pressed tightly against my chest. The curve of her back, and my hand brushing against the top of her ass. The feel of her tongue writhing against mine, demanding more…
I was hard as a rock just thinking about it. And that frustrated me even more.
When I finally went soft again—which required me to spend several minutes thinking about Sunday’s game against the Raiders—I emerged from my room. Cazzie’s door was closed, and the apartment was silent. I ordered dinner on my phone, then laid out on the couch with a book until it arrived.
“Food’s here,” I called while opening the bags in the kitchen. Her door opened, and she emerged stone-faced. “Good thing the delivery guy wasn’t a hitman, since you were holed away in your room.”
“Can we talk?” she asked.
“There’s nothing to talk about. I just want to eat dinner and put this behind us.”
“I don’t know why I lied,” she began. I put down the container of rice and turned toward her. “I’ve been using that lie since I was at boot camp. One of the other girls told me to do it. It kept the other guys from hitting on us incessantly. After that, it just felt natural to keep using the lie whenever it was convenient. Even when I didn’t really need to. When I met you, and you were all weird about having a female bodyguard, I thought I was going to have to deal with that same toxic masculinity from a bunch of football players. So I told the same lie I’ve always told so they wouldn’t hit on me the whole time. So I could do my job of protecting you.”
“You told it sotheywouldn’t hit on you?” I clarified. “Or soIwouldn’t hit on you?”
She shrugged. “Either. Both. I didn’t know you yet.”
“But you’ve gotten to know me since then. And you still lied.”
“I have no excuse for that,” she said. “Luke, I’m truly sorry.”
“So your ex who called you last week? Jessie? She’s a he?”
Cazzie nodded. “Aside from his gender, everything I told you about him was the truth. He was a fellow bodyguard at my agency. We were engaged. And like you said,hewas a huge bitch.” She tried a smile.
I turned back to the food and pulled out two more containers. “I got you the grilled pork, extra spicy the way you like it. And I ordered an extra thing of spring rolls, since you always take one of mine.”
