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I told Sawyer yesterday morning, and he concluded that it was better to hold back until we knew for certain. This information is going to lead to me finding and executing one of our acquaintances. I wish I knew how Livvy was going to react.
I watched as she slowly started to come back to us, to fight her way back. It’s awe-inspiring, her strength. She was terrified of our touch not even a couple weeks ago, but last night one of her walls came crashing down. She let herself go, let herself indulge in a night of carnal pleasure. I want to bottle the feeling of what happened between the three of us last night.
Even before the sex, she was laughing yesterday. Full, melodic, belly laughs during our snowball fight and sledding. I’d listen to her giggles and squeals on repeat if possible. Just an endless loop of her voice and laughter.
Sawyer drops his hand on my shoulder and squeezes, lending silent support. I look over at him and can tell that he’s just as anxious about this as I am. I’m so thankful that there’s no awkwardness between us today. We’ve had threesomes together before, but it was never like last night. Things were elevated to a new level, and I know that I, for one, loved every second of it.
“She is going to be okay,” Sawyer reassures me.
“Maybe eventually. But this news is going to rock her to her core. I hate being the one to deliver it.”
“I know. Sometimes it’s like she slips away right in front of us, have you noticed that?”
“Yes, like a curtain lowers over her eyes and she just closes up. It makes me want to vomit, thinking about what’s going through her mind in those moments.”
The sound of Grant and Lake arriving makes my stomach drop. I was hoping they would be a little later. Not that it really matters I guess, considering Livvy was pretty set on finding out what I know.
Grant walks in first. He’s dressed casually in jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt. The way his brows draw together when he sees me lets me know I need to work on my poker face. Lake follows in his usual uniform of black utility pants and a black muscle tee. He scans the room.
“Where’s Liv?” Lake asks a second later.
“Taking a shower. Lilith and Connor left a little while ago. Liv wanted to clean up.”
“Why did we all need to be here?” Grant asks with a slight edge to his voice.
“The fuck is your problem?” I stand straighter as I stare him down. “I thought that maybe, just fucking maybe, you would want to be here for Olivia.”
“She’s got you guys; she doesn’t need me.” He lifts his shoulder in a careless gesture, but his jaw clenches as well.
“Bullshit.” I point at him. “I am sick of your false apathy. I know you still care about her.
“Pussy is pussy. I’m a grown up, I don’t need to share anymore.”
I move toward him, but Sawyer and Lake step between us.
“Watch it,” Lake says to Grant.
“Not worth upsetting Liv right now.” Sawyer grabs me by the collar of my shirt and gives me a shake. “She’s going to need us to be a united front alongside her.”
He’s right, but all I want to feel is the crunch of bone under my fist. I’d prefer Tripp’s face to be there, but Grant and his bitch ass attitude is a good substitute. The sides of my vision are still splotchy and dotted with black. The only thing tethering me to any sense of calm is knowing that Livvy is going to walk through the kitchen door and look at me with those big brown eyes, expecting me to share what I know.
All four of our heads turn when Livvy clears her throat. Her eyes are glassy as she looks anywhere but at Grant. She definitely heard him being an asshole. She gives Lake a hug and moves to walk past Grant without acknowledging him, but he grabs her by the wrist.
“Liv, I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. I—”
“Understood.” She pulls her arm from his grasp. “I don’t need anything from you beyond friendship, if you’re even interested in that.”
“You know I am.”
“I don’t know anything when it comes to you, Grant.” She shakes her head and takes a position away from all four of us.
I don’t like how she’s distanced herself from us. It’s like she’s drawing a line in the sand, and all signs point to ‘do not cross.’ She’s wearing a green flannel button up shirt and jeans with more holes than coverage.
“So.” Her eyes hammer at me. “What did you find out?”
“Let’s go sit in the living room.” I stop her before she can argue. “Please, we should all be sitting for this.”
After a lingering look at me, she stalks off into the living room and chooses the chair closest to the fire. Sawyer, Lake, and I sit on the couch while Grant takes the other chair. I take a deep fortifying breath before launching into what I found.
