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“Why didn’t you want me to see these marks?” he asks.
“I didn’t want you to be upset by seeing them the way you were with the bruises from Tripp.” I reach down to pull the sheet back up, feeling too vulnerable under the intensity of his forest green eyes.
He tosses the sheet all the way down past my feet before I’m able to reach it. Then he runs his fingers over the bruises on my hip. “Seeing marks from any of us doesn’t bother me. These are from passion and love, not malice. If anything, it kind of turns me on.” He gives me a mischievous wink. “Next time let me know so I can watch.”
He reaches out and wraps his hand around my neck, pulling me to him. He gives me one of his slow and sensual kisses, unbothered by my coffee breath. I whimper when he pulls away. “So needy.” He rubs his nose against mine. “I wouldn’t stop if you didn’t need to get up and ready for your lesson with Lilith today.”
I totally forgot. My eyes dart over to the clock, and I relax a bit when I see that I have an hour. I have just enough time to shower and get dressed.
“I’ll make you breakfast while you shower.” He stands and walks down the stairs.
I cover back up and take a minute longer to enjoy my coffee before wandering into Nolan’s bathroom. It’s the most basic of all the guys’, but that’s one of the things I love most about him. He’s always had the simplest taste. He didn’t even have his own car in high school, which was unheard of, as half the kids had their own fleet of vehicles.
He, like everyone else, has bottles of my preferred beauty products in his bathroom. I’m still unsure about how it’ll work with the guys and I being in one relationship. I kind wish we could all live together in the same house. It was so nice to be behind the same door and under the same roof as everyone down in Costa Rica. It felt so secure to have them all so close.
After I’m done showering and getting ready, I join Grant in the kitchen. He holds out two boxes of cereal, one box of Lucky Charms and one box of Frosted Mini Wheats.
“This is all Nolan has for breakfast, and I didn’t want to order anything with all the extra security. Choose.”
I grab the Mini Wheats and fix a bowl. Grant goes for the Lucky Charms after refilling both of our cups of coffee. We eat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes.
“I’ve been thinking about what you said in Costa Rica,” I say as I stand up to rinse my dishes in the sink.
“I’m anxious to hear those thoughts and answer any questions you might have.”
“I’m curious. Curious enough to want to try some things.” I keep myself busy, so I don’t have to look in his eyes as I speak, too nervous for prolonged eye contact. “I don’t know if I could handle any physical pain, at least not right off the bat.”
“I don’t want to hurt you; pain isn’t the goal.” I don’t hear him move but I can feel him at my back. His hands gently grip my shoulders as he spins me around. “Tell me what you think about, what you hear when your eyes go vacant and the panic settles in?”
I drag a breath in through my teeth as tears prick my eyes. I don’t feel ready enough to talk about this, but when will I ever? After a moment’s hesitation, I decide if I can’t open up to my guys, who can I open up to?
“I hear him.” My voice comes out as a raspy whisper. “I hear all the awful things he said to me, the names he called me. The lies he told me.”
“I want to erase his voice from your memory. I want you to take ownership of those lies he told you. I want you to flip the script on him.”
“I want that too.”
“When you’re ready to try, I will be too.” He kisses me gently, just a brush of his lips against mine. “There’s no rush, though. This is on our timeline.”
I’m about to lean in and kiss him when his phone beeps with a text notification.
“Lilith is on her way up. I’ll finish cleaning up, you go meet her at Lake’s apartment.” He kisses my forehead and swats my ass playfully. “Learn how to kick all our asses.”
I meet her out by Lake’s front door. She looks as stunning as she did the first time we did this. Her glacial blue eyes give me an appraising look before she nods in approval.
“I mean this nicely, you look a lot better. You even have a little tan.”
“Yeah, four days in Costa Rica will do that to you.” I unlock Lake’s door and lead her inside.
“Nice, Lake’s beach house?”
“Yeah, have you been?” I ask, curious as to how well she knows the guys.
“Yes, we vacationed with them two years ago. By we, I mean my family by choice not by blood, Griff, who works a lot with Grant, and his wife, who happens to be my husband’s sister. Then my cousin Levi and his wife, Ivy. I’m sure at some point you’ll meet everyone.”
She walks down the hall to Lake’s home gym and flips the lights on. She’s definitely been here before. I keep reminding myself that the gorgeous blonde Amazon in front of me is married and has been with her husband since high school. Otherwise, the jealousy would make me go insane.
Why am I even jealous? I have four boyfriends. Four boyfriends who are faithful to me and me alone. I give myself a mental shake to calm down.
