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“Let’s get you tucked back in.” He leads me down the hall to the room I’m using.
He turns on the lamp and surveys the tangled heap of sheets and the duvet. He frowns for a minute then turns to me. “Must have been a bad one, huh?”
“Yeah, it was.”
“Do you want me to stay until you fall asleep?”
Do I want him to stay?
I really think about it. It would undoubtedly bring me comfort and security to know that he was right there, watching over me as I fall asleep. I know I’m safe with him. I’m safe with all of them. That’s the one thing holding all my pieces together right now. The thing that holds me back is wondering how long they will be willing to help with my mess. I don’t want to become a burden to them. They didn’t ask me to come back into their lives. They didn’t leave the door open for me.
“No.” I slide back under the covers. “I’ll probably be okay. I don’t usually have two in one night.”
“Okay.” He leans down to graze his lips over my forehead. “There are three of us in the apartment. You’re completely safe here, remember that.”
“I know,” I say gratefully. “Good night.”
“Night, Liv,” he says over his shoulder as he gently closes the door.
I stay up for another hour worrying about whether Tripp has thought to start looking for me here yet. Surely he must have figured out by now that this would be the only place for me to go. He has all my money, my passport, everything. I don’t even know which account my inheritance went into following my parents’ deaths.
I decide to try to focus my energy elsewhere. My mind settles on one of my favorite memories with Nolan. It’s a beautiful way to beat back ugly memories.
“Here, Livvy, lay on this,” Nolan says, patting the blanket he’s laid out for us. “We’re going to eat this special,” he waggles his brows, “brownie and listen to some nineties alt rock while we cloud watch.” He breaks the brownie in half and gives me the slightly smaller piece. He grabs his ear buds, giving me the right and keeping the left for him. “Today your musical education continues with Nirvana and The Foo Fighters.”
He flicks through his extensive lists of music on his phone until he finds what he’s looking for. A familiar guitar riff fills my ear. I take a bite of the brownie. The pot aftertaste is kind of weird, but I’m going with it.
“Right now we’re listening to what is arguably Nirvana’s most famous song, ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit.’We’ll move through the popular songs and into the more obscure stuff as the day goes by.”
“How long are we going to be out here?” I have to tuck my school uniform skirt under my legs because the breeze keeps making it flutter up.
“All day. Why?” He looks at me out of the corner of his eye. “Do you have somewhere else to be?”
“Nope.” I notice a cloud and point at it. “There’s a giraffe.”
“Looks like a dick to me,” he says seriously.
We laid out there that day for hours, laughing and listening to music. It was always our thing. I remember looking over at his profile and thinking about how crazy it was that I ended up becoming so close with them. I was fifteen and had a crush on each one of them. My relationship with Nolan was always a little different though, his status as a scholarship student and my background of having been homeschooled made us both black sheep.
Not that anyone would have messed with us, Sawyer and Grant were royalty at that school, and Lake was athletic and popular, especially with his dark, broody good looks. The three of them shielded us. My uncle was rarely around, a retiree from Wall Street, so I spent most of my time with my boys.
I fall asleep with a sense of comfort I haven’t felt in years, at peace knowing Lake, Sawyer, and Nolan are here if I need them.
* * *
The next morning, I put on a pair of athletic shorts from Nolan that fit slightly better, as he’s the thinnest of the four. I pull Sawyer’s hoodie on and inhale deeply at the masculine scent that lingers on it even though he said it was clean. I brush my hair out and put it back in a ponytail.
Sawyer is shirtless at the stove making breakfast, and my suspicions are correct about him filling out as a grown man. His muscles bunch and ripple as he cooks. I’m starting to feel feelings that I thought I’d never feel again. A little bit of desire, especially for the man who was my first.
“Good morning, Livvy.”
I turn to Nolan with a small smile. “Morning.”
He’s giving me a lopsided grin while he holds out a cup of coffee for me. He’s also shirtless, his lean runner’s body strong and sinewy. He flexes his abs and chuckles when he catches me looking which causes a blush to color my cheeks.
Get a grip, Olivia.
“Don’t make her uncomfortable, Nolan.” Lake says from the kitchen table. He’s actually dressed. His black utility pants and long sleeve black shirt scream ‘don’t mess with me.’ He looks over at me. “Did you sleep better the rest of the night?”
