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“You’ll have to figure that out on your own,” his mother said, interrupting his thoughts. “But you do have a child now. And I hope I get to be a part of his life. I hope I’m in both of your lives. Yours more than I was before. There isn’t anything holding you back now.”
There wasn’t and it was sad to think that. That one person had such a big hold over him that he’d pushed his mother off too. He had to be the bigger man now and admit when he was wrong.
“Looking back, you suffered the same as the two of us.”
“I did,” she said. “I loved you both and played the middle man. It wasn’t fun.”
He’d been too caught up in his own misery to realize that. Maybe death was what it took for people to see what was right in front of their faces.
“I’m here for a few months. I’ll help you get the marina set up and sold.”
“If it sells fast will you go back home?” she asked.
He watched her playing with Max on the floor. “No. I’m staying until the end of January regardless. Max needs to know his family. You need to know your grandson. I don’t live all that far away and once the marina is sold, maybe you can move closer to me if you want.”
His mother shook her head. “This is my home, Ren. I don’t have as horrible memories of it as you do. It’s paid for and, with the sale of the marina, I’m going to live here on the water comfortably. This used to be a great place for you.”
When he was younger and before his father started to make him work at the marina. Yeah, those times were different.
Not just learning to swim outside these doors. But running in the yard. Playing ball in the grass.
Not boating. Nope.
The first time his father put him on a boat in rough water he started to throw up over the side. He got yelled at for making a mess and not getting to the side fast enough the first time. Then he had to listen through the walls of his bedroom his father telling his mother how weak he was that he couldn’t handle a little rough water.
Yeah, those weren’t the memories he wanted.
He wanted the great memories of Zara that he had here.
The first time they’d lost their virginity in his bedroom while his parents were at the marina working. Where they spent a lot of their time.
To a teenager that wanted to get in his girlfriend’s pants, it was ideal.
“It had its moments,” he admitted.
“It could again. You can work anywhere. You said that. You’re doing it. The one thing holding you back will be gone. Or the final thing.”
Shit. “Are you selling the marina so I can come back?”
She smiled. “Ren, I’m selling the marina for a lot of reasons. I’ve worked at it for years and can’t anymore. It’s too hard for me. I’m ready to retire and there is no reason I can’t or shouldn’t. I thought maybe I’d travel a little.”
“You always wanted to,” he said. “You never got the opportunity.”
“No,” she said. “The marina came first. I understood that for your father. I know it was in his family. But you don’t want it and neither do I. That doesn’t mean I love your father any less, but that part of my life needs to go away. It does for you too.”
“So you are doing it for me too?” he asked.
“Why can’t it be for both of us? I think it’s time we get to enjoy life the way we want. A clean slate in Mystic. What you choose to do with that is up to you.”
“I’m not making any decisions.”
“Which tells me there is more than you wanting me to get to know my beautiful grandson. I won’t ask more. You never liked to share all that much. But know that I’m here when you’re ready to talk. If you want to.”
“Thanks,” he said. He’d always known that but never took advantage of it.
Maybe because he worried his mother would tell his father and he’d be berated even more.
As his mother said though, all those worries are now gone.
