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“Of course not,” I agreed, straightening, and forcing myself to stop laughing… but it only lasted a breath before the next snort broke free of me and I collapsed on the bed. Then she burst into laughter too.
God. It was a nice sound.
I’d been worried for a second when I’d found her that it would truly be the end of her.
We both lay there giggling for what seemed like a long time before we were able to bring it under control. It was part delirium brought on by the shitty situation, I was sure. But it was also cathartic.
I sat up, my sides hurting from all the laughing. “I should probably go,” I told her as I took the now cold soup from her and set the tray on the nightstand.
Her hand shot out and enclosed my wrist, and my pulse quivered at her touch. “No. Stay,” she whispered, dragging my gaze down to her cool blue eyes. “Please. I don’t want to be alone again.”
Her world had come crashing down around her ears, and mine was hanging by an ever-tenuous thread.
I had to admit it. I didn’t want to be alone either and that was new for me.
“Okay,” I murmured, reaching out to touch her cheek. “What do you want to do?” There was a TV in the cabinet across the room, we could watch something or…
“Sleep. Just sleep,” she replied, a crack in her voice. “Will you lay with me?”
“I thought you hated me, Clover?”
“Well, I guess just for today, I can pretend I don’t.”
She was still holding my wrist, and I was loathe to break the skin-on-skin connection. I kicked off my shoes as she wriggled over in the bed, and then I lay down beside her, but I felt awkward.
I didn’t know where to put my limbs. I’d never felt so out of my depth with a girl in bed before. Come to think of it, I’d never just laid beside a girl in bed… usually I was between their legs doing unspeakable things while they moaned like porn stars because they hadn’t yet learned that sex wasn’t a performance.
Cait settled into the pillows and reached out to tangle her fingers in mine.
Okay.
So, she was cool with touching.
Great.
I let out a heavy breath, trying to relax. My body was wound tighter than a spring and I was sure she’d notice how tense I was.
Chill out.
But I couldn’t. I couldn’t shake the urge I had to hold her. She was the only thing that felt real to me right now. She was the only solid presence in my life. Bree and my dad were just ghosts. Cait was here. Warm. Breathing.
I felt weird. Shaky.
Was I nervous?
Fuck that.
“Come here,” I muttered gruffly, wrapping my arm around her and pulling her into my side. She didn’t protest. She didn’t fight me, for like, the first time ever. She settled her head against my chest, and I felt the small smile against my pec.
“Maybe I could hold off on hating you a while longer,” she sighed as she slipped her arm around my middle, her voice sounding sleepy.
“I’d like that,” I confessed. “Sleep well, Clover.” I kissed the top of her head again, inhaling her scent. Holding her felt like I finally had a grip on this Earth.
I didn’t know when, or how. But everything between us had changed.
CHAPTER FIVE
Cait
