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I inhaled a chilly breath and took a step backwards from the ocean. Then I took one more. And another. Until I’d made my way all the way back to the house.
She was still by the car, leaning against the hood with her arms wrapped around herself to try and stave off the cold. The headlights cast her in a gorgeous silhouette, and for a moment, I just stopped and stared.
My heart throbbed in my chest, and it was hard to catch my breath. She drove me fucking insane, but her heart was always in the right place. I couldn’t be mad with her for trying to protect me.
She looked up as she heard my feet crunching on the gravel drive, a flash of fear crossing her shadowed face. She visibly shrank as I approached, but she didn’t move. I smiled ruefully.
Of course not.
She wouldn’t submit that easily.
When I stopped in front of her, she opened her mouth a few times as if she were going to say something, but I just grabbed her and pulled her into my arms, tucking her head under my chin.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured, kissing the top of her head. “You did the right thing.”
She softened, wrapping her arms around my middle and leaning into me.
“I didn’t know what else to do.” Her voice was tearful, and I felt bad that I’d made her scared and upset. I wasn’t used to someone taking over control of me… I wasn’t used to someone trying to take care of me. Ever since Brianna had been born, I’d basically been left to my own devices. My parents seemed to forget that I’d still needed them. So, I’d learned not to need anyone.
“I know.”
I held her for a while longer, but the cold was starting to get to me too, so I let her go and grabbed her hand. “Let’s go inside.”
I walked her up the porch steps to the front door and keyed in the entry code. I was grateful my father put keypad locks on most of our holdings instead of running the risk of not having a key.
Inside, I switched on the lights as we meandered through the house. It was decorated in light, beachy tones with a classic New England style. A big family room connected to the kitchen, and then on my right was a formal dining room and an office.
Up the stairs were four bedrooms all with ensuites, and a small library.
It was an old house, and every floorboard creaked, but I loved it. It wasn’t perfect like the house back in the city… it was flawed. It didn’t quite fit with the O’Callaghan image.
A bit like me, I supposed.
I pushed open the door to the room that had been mine since my father had bought the place as somewhere to escape the madness of the city and the business, and led Cait inside.
She paused by the door and rubbed her arms awkwardly as I moved further into the room. It was decorated in darker tones than the downstairs, with mahogany furniture instead of white.
The tall post bed was made up with navy blue sheets, and a few nautical throw pillows to accent the theme of the house. It was clean and tidy. Completely dust free. My father had a housekeeper that came by a couple of times a week to maintain the place.
“Are you alright?” I asked, as Cait shifted from foot to foot.
“I… Uh. Are we going to discuss what happened… uh, out there?” Her cheeks flamed, and I knew she was referring to the kiss.
I sighed, leaning against one of the carved posts. Had I really thought she’d just let it go? It wasn’t in Cait’s nature, but what could I say? Kissing her wasn’t something I planned on repeating…was it?
“Cait-”
“We don’t have to, I just… uh-”
She looked so adorably awkward, and part of me really did want to kiss her again… but I couldn’t. All of the reasons we couldn’t be together that had existed before the ambush, still existed. If anything, they’d increased.
I straightened and crossed the room, taking her hand in mine. I pressed a kiss to the inside of her wrist. “Can’t we just leave it as what it was?”
“Sure… I… Uh. But what was it? What are… we?” She stumbled over every word, her face glowing.
God.
How did I answer that question? What the hell were we? I didn’t know. Nothing. We couldn’t be anything. Right now, we were just trying to survive.
