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Wait.
What did shewantus to be?
I searched her face, trying to find any sign that she didn’t want me the way I wanted her… because if she didn’t, I could pull back, I could separate myself from her, but desire blazed in her eyes. It was clear as day how she felt about me.
Jesus Christ.
I inhaled a shaky breath, feeling her pulse thrumming under the delicate skin of her wrist.
We stayed there for a long time, just staring at each other. I was afraid to move in case it frayed the thread that had been connecting us over the last few days. Without it… without her, I’d be set adrift. I’d be lost. If I said the wrong thing, the thread would snap, and I would truly have nothing left.
At some point, she relented, seeming to give in to the fact I didn’t have an answer for her.
“Let’s go to bed,” she murmured, and I felt the tension in my shoulders ease. She wasn’t running from me. She wasn’t cursing my name. We were alright.
At least for now.
I nodded my agreement and released her hand, moving to the side of the bed I’d always slept on to kick off my shoes. They were slightly damp from the ocean, so I stacked them on the small radiator underneath the window to dry.
“I’m going to hop in the shower first,” she said, stepping towards the ensuite. I nodded again, but I couldn’t look her in the eye. I was afraid of what I’d see if I did.
She closed the door softly behind her, and I scrubbed my hand over my face.
Kissing her had been a mistake, because now I knew exactly how she tasted, and I had to go the rest of my life without that taste ever again. I knew it had been a mistake, yet I couldn’t bring myself to regret it.
I moved to the dresser and opened one of the drawers. The clothes inside were too small for me now. I’d piled on a lot of muscle in the year since I’d been here, but they’d be a good enough fit on Cait to sleep in.
I pulled out a t-shirt and some shorts, laying them out on the bed for her, and then I made a trip downstairs to grab some water for us both. My head was pounding, and I wasn’t sure if it was grief, drugs or actual dehydration causing it.
I gulped down a glass, then refilled it before heading back up the stairs. She would still be in the shower, so I’d just drop the glasses and then give her some privacy, but as I pushed into my room, I froze at the sight of her.
Cait yelped, and I nearly dropped the glasses.
She had just dropped her towel to reach for the t-shirt as I entered, and now she was completely naked.
Fuck.
I’d seen her naked before, but she’d been so locked in grief… so vulnerable, that it would have been wrong for me to devour her.
The threads of my self-control were pulled taught and spinning out. Fraying. Unravelling, moment by moment. All the reasons I’d pulled away from the kiss, all the reasons I’d forced myself to stay away from her were no longer enough…
There was a flash of embarrassment on her face, but it was quickly replaced with something else.
The thread spun faster.
“Cait,” I said in a low voice, warning her with my eyes. “If you don’t pick up that shirt in the next two seconds, I cannot be held responsible for my actions.”
I saw her swallow, and I felt the little bob of her throat echoed in my groin.
“Cait,” I said again… this time I was begging her. I was about to fuck everything up.
Still, she didn’t move to pick the shirt up. She raised her chin, defying me. Daring me.
And that was it.
I came apart at the seams.
I set the glasses down on the dresser by the door, spilling half the contents in my haste, but I didn’t care. All that mattered was her.
