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“And what do they think?” Daisy Lynn asked. “Is it something serious? How does that even work?”
I sighed. That was the complicated part.Notthe part about how it would work—it would work perfectly; I already knew that for sure. They weren’t jealous of each other, and I liked them both equally but in different ways and for different reasons. There was absolutely no competition—except maybe when it came to seeing which one of them could make me come faster.
“It would work just fine,” I said. “Except… I guess it’s just a fling for now.”
“You guess?” Becca asked, her brow furrowing. “For now? Have the three of you actuallytalkedabout it yet?”
I thought back to the night before in the bunkhouse. Everything was sort of a blur, but I could still remember exactly what they’d said.
“They just want a fling,” I sighed. “That’s what they told me. And that’s… fine. Right? It’s fine.”
“Is it?” Daisy Lynn asked. “It’s perfectly fine if that’s what all three of you want, but it seems like you’renotfine with it.”
I could feel tears starting to well up in my eyes. I didn’t even know why I was getting so emotional about it. Itwasfine. Really, it was. Trying to have everything I wanted all at once really would have been selfish. I should just be appreciative of the time I was getting to spend with them.
“I don’t know,” I said, finally. “Of course I want more, but it’s not like I can force them to want the same thing. And I don’t even want to bring it up because everything is sogoodbetween us right now. What if I ask for too much and they decide it’s not worth it?”
That was my biggest fear, but I hadn’t realized it until I’d said it out loud. Now that I had them—even if it was only a fling—I was scared to death that I’d do something wrong and lose it all.
Becca crossed the room and sat on one side of me while Daisy Lynn walked over to my other side. Becca gave me a half-hug and told me what I already knew. “If you really feel that way—if you really want more than just something physical—you need to tell them.”
“She’s right,” Daisy Lynn said. “You deserve to have everything you want, Janessa. And if they’re the kind of guys who would leave you for speaking up like that, are they even worth having?”
“They’re worth having,” I said without hesitating. “But… yeah. You’re both right. I should talk to them.”
I just didn’t know when.
Or how.
Chapter 19
Boone
Iwasn’t trying to listen. I didn’t mean to overhear their conversation.
I’d just gone upstairs to check on Janessa, and I’d heard… well, I’d heard enough for my stomach to turn over and tie itself into a knot.
By the time I made it back to the bunkhouse, I thought I might actually throw up. My nerves were on edge, and I didn’t know what to do.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Cade asked, a worried look on his face as he stood up from the bed where he’d been sprawled out napping. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“I was up at the house just now,” I said, jerking my thumb in that direction. “And I, uh… I just went there to make sure Janessa was okay, you know? I mean, I know we just dropped her off a little while ago, but—” I stopped and shook my head.Get it together. “Anyway, she was in her room with her friends. I could hear them talking before I even made it to the door.”
“And?” Cade smirked. “A little girl talk scared you off? Or did you actually stand there and listen?”
“I wasn’tlistening,” I said, even though thatwastechnically what I’d been doing. “I just… they were talking about us.”
Cade’s eyebrows shot up, but his smile only grew wider. “She was telling them about how good we were?” He nodded. “I could tell she loved every minute of it. Fuck, she’s hot.”
“You’re an idiot,” I said, nearly laughing at him in spite of the fact that every single one of my nerves was on edge. “And no, that wasn’t what she was saying.”
“Well, she couldn’t have been saying it wasbad.” He shook his head. “That’s just not possible. She couldn’t have been faking all those noises.”
“I know it’s a lot to ask, but if we could talk about something besides your dick for a second? Please?” I spoke the next words slowly and clearly so I could make sure they got through to his sex-crazed brain. “She told them she wants a relationship. With us. Both of us. All three of us. Together.”
“Got it, thanks…” He was looking at me likeIwas the idiot. “Is that what’s got you so worked up?”
It was almost like we were speaking two different languages, and the way he was acting like it was no big deal? Not gonna lie, it was starting to piss me off.
