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“But it’s not about her. It’s the production. It’s being professional.”
“And when the director yells, ‘Action,’ the two of them snap into professional mode.” She shrugged. “That’s the beginning and end of their responsibility, I guess.”
Landon got it. He had money at stake in this production. To Jessica and Peter, it was a job. Their pay was guaranteed. They had a contract that required them to see it through.
But their contract didn’t stipulate they couldn’t date anyone else or get into spats when they weren’t onscreen. It certainly didn’t state that they couldn’t flirt with other people. Where humans were involved, things were always more complicated than some piece of paper with a bunch of legal language.
He was starting to miss the days of working with cattle and horses.
“My brother doesn’t get it.” Landon looked over in the direction of the door that led out to the deck—the direction where the crew was busy doing their work. “He likes the status that comes with running a production company. There’s glamour involved, and that impresses friends he went to college with. I never went to college.”
He looked over at her then. He wasn’t sure what response he was expecting, but her face remained neutral.
“Neither did I,” she said. “We’re both doing well for ourselves despite that.”
Actually, she didn’t know how well he was or wasn’t doing. The money he’d invested in this, along with what he had in his bank account to live on, had come from the sale of their family ranch. He’d divided the proceeds with his brother and mom. It wasn’t quite enough to start up a ranch on his own.
No, he needed to step back and plan before he made his next move. He was working with his brother while he did that. He didn’t want to make the same mistakes he’d made last time. He needed to be prepared to create a ranch that met today’s consumer needs. Their family ranch was based on long outdated ranching practices.
“What about you?” Audrie suddenly asked.
Her words pulled him out of his thoughts, reminding him he was withdrawing again, as he always did when he started getting close to someone.
“What about me?” he asked.
“You said your brother is into the prestige this career gives him. You’re a set consultant. That’s pretty impressive.”
“I suppose.” He laughed. “There’s not really a lot of demand for retired cowboys.”
“I don’t think you’re a retired cowboy.”
“Do cowboys ever really retire?” he asked. “It’s more who you are than what you do.”
“And it’s whoyouare.” Her expression had softened considerably, and he felt as though she were really seeing him. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt like someone was actually seeing him. “It’s in your eyes when you talk about ranching. Today, when I saw you helping Jessica and Peter, it was clear that’s where you’re happiest.”
“It is.” He looked over at the fireplace a long moment before continuing. “My dad died when I was a teenager, and I took all the responsibility on myself. No matter what Mom did, she couldn’t get Rourke to stay home and focus on the ranch. He had big dreams.”
“So, you felt like it was your responsibility to keep the ranch going after your dad died?”
“My mom loved that land, but it was my dad’s. He bought it before they even got married and built it to what it was before we sold it.”
“And selling it made you feel like you were letting your dad down.”
It was a statement, not a question, and it went straight to the heart of what was bothering him these days. “My dad’s no longer around, so it’s silly. I mean, I know if he’s looking down on me right now, he’d say I did the best I could. My mom’s fine. She’s made all kinds of new friends in Arizona. Truth be told, I think she’s happier than she would have been if we’d kept the ranch. But she chose to leave the ranch and go make a life of her own long before I knew I’d have to sell it.”
“Your mom left the ranch to you and Rourke to run?” Audrie asked.
“She just assumed I’d stay there and eventually have a family and run the place as a business as I was doing when she moved away. But we had a series of bad seasons, and then the market got so competitive, and things changed.”
He took a deep breath and let it out. There. He’d said it out loud. If she was going to judge him for it, there wasn’t much he could do about it. She couldn’t be any harder on him than he’d been on himself.
When he looked over at her, though, Audrie’s eyes were filled with compassion. She tilted her head slightly and gave him a gentle smile.
“My salon has gone through some tough times,” she said, her voice taking on a somber tone. “I’m lucky that overhead’s low. There’s only so far you can go in a town with a shrinking population, but if we shut down, I wouldn’t think I’d failed. Businesses close all the time. It’s more a reflection of the way life changes than what any business owner does.”
He had to admit she made a good point.
“A large percentage of small businesses fail,” she continued when he didn’t speak. “In fact, I’d say the percentage that succeed is pretty small when you get past the five-year mark.”
