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Powerful. Sexy. Everything I’ve dreamt kissing Sam would be.
My hands grip the hem of his shirt as we dive deeper.
Tasting.
Teasing.
I lean into him... into this as his tongue strokes mine.
He tastes like mint and feels like home.
Home, safety, security.
These things most people take for granted feel like such foreign concepts to me. So much so that I refuse to accept them. Not yet, when they’re a carrot dangling at the end of a string. So close, yet always out of reach. I refuse to put myself through that. Refuse to allow myself to fall in love. To build a life, then have it ripped away when I have to leave.
And I will have to leave. I always do.
Sam likes to call me Snow, like the fairy-tale princess.
But my life is far from a fairy tale.
Even a prince can’t change that.
Needing to break the kiss, I step back, pushing away from him and immediately feel the loss. With shaking fingers pressed against my lips, I apologize, “Sam, I can’t. I...”
He drags his thumb along his bottom lip as his lust-filled blue eyes set my body on fire. “I’m not sorry, Snow. I’ve been wanting to do that for years. But we need to talk first.”
And just like that, his sexy smirk transforms back into alpha-dog dominance with ease. He forgets that I don’t like to be dominated though. “You’re right. We do.” I move into the living room, turn off the television, and turn on a light. “I am fully capable of taking care of myself. I was okay before I met you. And I’ll be okay after I leave Philadelphia. I don’t need you to protect me. I told you I didn’t need a bodyguard, Sam, and I meant it. Seriously. You just had to go and get your guys to babysit me around the clock like a child.”
Sam stalks into the room after me. “You’re fucking right, I did. You said you had an eerie feeling. Like someone was watching you. You aren’t crazy, Amelia. You don’t overreact. You know to trust your gut. And I know to trust you. You tell me something feels off, and I’m sending someone to make sure nothing happens to you.”
“But Sam—”
He interrupts me, “No. No buts. I was in another fucking country. I couldn’t be here, so I was damn well making sure someone was. For all I knew, what I was dealing with was blowing back over here.” His eyes soften as his voice lowers. “I had business to take care of in Canada.”
The hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention, and I pray I’m wrong. “Canada?” My voice cuts like a hot knife through cold butter. “What were you doing there?”
“I need you to understand...” Sam starts, and my stomach drops.
“Sam,” I grasp for the words, desperate to know but scared to ask. “What happened in Canada?” The last words come out on a whisper.
He reaches out for me, but I back away. “I was meeting with the Tremblay cartel.”
“Sam.” I drop down on the couch behind me. “Why? What happened?” I always knew there was a chance I’d be found. I’ve expected it. Been waiting for it. But a small part of me held onto hope that it wouldn’t happen.
That I’d get to keep the makeshift family I’ve been lucky enough to find here.
That I wouldn’t have to be alone again.
Sam sits down next to me, but this time, it’s not comforting. “I’ve had one of my guys working on getting me something on the Canadian cartel for a while now. He finally got it. It was the leverage I needed to confront them. I paid off your debt and agreed to keep the information I have about them to myself in exchange for your safety. If anything happens to you, the leverage gets turned over to their partners in Mexico who wouldn’t just kill the Canadian kingpins for the betrayal. They’d kill their families. They’d brutalize them and then kill everyone they loved. Their wives. Their kids. Everyone.”
Oh my God.
The room starts closing in.
I can’t breathe.
As if a boa constrictor were tightening around me, my lungs can’t take in oxygen, and my heart can’t pump. My entire body starts shaking. I think I’m having a heart attack. Somewhere on the edges of my sanity, I’m aware it’s a panic attack. But I feel like I’m dying.
