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“Yeah, man. Trick called earlier. This fuckin’ sucks. I’m sorry.” Traffic moves slowly as we get stuck in mid-day congestion, and exhaustion kicks in.
Understatement of the century. “Me too. Tell me you’ve at least got an update on Axel.”
Ford shakes his head. “We’re still working on it. But there hasn’t been any movement.”
“He’s one of us. He’s as good as us. We’re not going to find him if he doesn’t want to be found.” I close my eyes and lean back against the seat as my head pounds harder.
Ford takes the hint, and we drive the rest of the way in silence. When we pull into the driveway of Trick’s house, I open my eyes to see Ford staring at me. “You know Linc’s services are tomorrow, right?”
“I do now. I wasn’t sure.” I open the door and grab my duffle. “Thanks for the ride. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Let me know if you need anything.”
I nod and slam the door shut just as my fucking phone vibrates again. Dad’s name flashes across the screen as I let myself into the house. “Hey, Dad.”
“Your sister said you were discharged.” Okay then.
I guess we’re skipping the niceties.
“Yeah. Ten percent loss of vision puts me over the acceptable limit for any visual deficiency. I just finished signing the paperwork... so I guess I’m now unemployed.” Nothing like Nattie running to Dad.
“Oh, Cooper. I’m so sorry, son. Nattie only said you were being discharged from the hospital. I didn’t know...” He hesitates, not sure what to say.
That makes two of us.
“Why don’t you come home for a while. Recoup here. You could stay with us.”
I’m thinkingHell nowould not be an acceptable answer. “I appreciate it, Dad. But I’m already back in Coronado. I have some things I need to handle. I’m not sure how long it’s gonna take.”
“The offer is always there, son.”
“Thanks, Dad. We’ll talk soon, okay?” I walk through the door of the house I shared with Trick and Linc, and everything feels wrong. “I gotta go, Dad.” I don’t wait for him to answer before I end the call.
The house is quiet. The air inside is untouched and stale, but something feels off.
I drop my bag in my bedroom and quickly check out the rest of the rooms, leaving Linc’s for last. His door is open, and I’m not sure what I’m expecting to find. It’s empty. He and Emerson had gotten their own place before we were deployed. He wanted space for the baby.
My fucking chest hurts at the insanity of it all.
Linc’s gone because of Axel.
What the actual fuck?
I make my way to the kitchen, knowing there’s nothing in the fridge, but the vodka in the freezer should be as good as new and ice fucking cold. I consider grabbing a glass for a second, then decide the bottle will do just fine and crack it open.
Maybe this can take away the fucked up thoughts that won’t leave me the hell alone.
The guilt.
The anger.
The fucking hate.
* * *
One minute, I was sleeping. The next, I’m drowning.
At least I think I am.
