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Dad curses under his breath but holds his ground next to me.
The part of my heart that fractured a month ago riots at the idea I’m causing her pain. But until I know what’s going on with the team and Axe, it’s better this way.
Once the nurse follows Carys out, Dad turns to me, utter exhaustion settling deeply in the lines of his face. He drags a chair across the worn tile floor and sits down next to my bed. “How are you feeling, son?” I know he’s got more to say, but he doesn’t...yet.
He takes my hand in his, in a way he hasn’t done since I was young, and squeezes it.
“Like I’ve been shot,” I try to joke, but judging by the look on his face, it falls flat. “Too soon?”
“We thought you were captured. We thought you were dead.” His face pales with his words. “So, yeah... Too soon, Cooper.”
His words hurt more than the pounding in my head. “Sorry, Dad. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
“I don’t need an apology. I just need to know you’re okay. Jesus...” he groans. “You’ve taken ten years off my life during the past forty-eight hours. What happened?”
There’s no way I can tell him what’s going on, even if I remembered all of it.
I’m still a Navy SEAL, and there are rules for a reason.
It takes me a minute to get my thoughts straight. “I’m not sure what happened, Dad. But there are things going on with the team. I need you to take Carys and leave Germany. Go home. It’s safer for both of you there.”
“Safer?” he questions. “What are you talking about? Are you still in danger, son?”
I close my eyes and try to fight back the nausea churning in my stomach. “I’m not sure what’s going on yet. And I couldn’t tell you even if I knew. The thing is, I need you safe, so I need you to leave.” I close my eyes and lean my head back against my pillow as I breathe through the dizziness and nausea that are hitting me hard. “I need you to take Carys home.”
“Carys is an entirely different conversation, Coop. Why would you hide that from us?” Even with my eyes closed, I can feel the disappointment radiating off him in waves, and I suddenly feel like I did when Nattie and I were ten years old and were about to get in trouble. Except Declan isn’t here to save me.
“Dad...” I struggle to find the right words. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but—”
“You didn’t tell me at all,” he barks roughly, and my eyes shoot to his. “She stood up to the entire family and demanded to come here because she’s in love with you. And let me tell you, your sister and Murphy didn’t go easy on her. But she did it anyway, so she could be here.With you. And you just threw her out.” Dad’s voice might still be full of love, but I can’t miss the judgment in his words.
I’m not sure whether it’s anger or hurt or a mixture of both.
“I raised you to be a better man than that, son.”
“Then keep her safe until I can do it myself, and I promise to show you what kind of man I really am.” I grab his arm. “Please, Dad.” My vision blurs as I think about what kind of shitstorm we’re all walking into once we can finally all walk again. “Take her home.”
“I think you’re doing the wrong thing, Cooper.” He stands from the chair, and I’m pretty sure he’s telling me no. “I’ll check her in at the hotel, but neither of us is leaving until I’m sure you’re going to be okay. Don’t bother fighting me.” He leans down and kisses my head the way he kisses Callen. “I love you.”
“You need to go back to Kroydon Hills, Dad. It’s safer for everyone that way. Me included. I can’t take care of the shit I need to handle if you’re here.” My frustration grows with every minute he pushes back.
His eyes soften. “I’ve got news for you, kid. You’re not handling anything for a few days. Not in the shape you’re in. Get some sleep.” He takes a step back. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Cooper. I’ll try to keep Carys away, but I’m not making any promises.”
The door closes behind my father, and Trick opens the curtain between us with some kind of remote. “You’ve got to keep her away. We have no idea what Axe’s up to. And seriously man, he’s already infatuated with your girl. Better to piss her off now and fix it later than to put her on his radar any more than she already is.”
“If he wants us, she’s my biggest weakness.” I lean my head back and close my eyes, wondering how we got here.
I tryto hold my head up and put one foot in front of the other as I walk down the hospital corridor, but my heart breaks a little more with each step that takes me further from Cooper.
I did this to us. I broke us then, so I wouldn’t destroy us later.
That’s been my mantra.
It’s what’s gotten me through the tsunami of regret I’ve been drowning in for months.
I pushed him away, thinking I was doing the right thing.
I’ve never been so damn wrong about anything in my life.
