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A song wafted through the speakers in her car as she joined the road but Emma turned it off. She couldn’t bear any more music. Her heart couldn’t take it. There were too many good memories of Alex. And one soul-crushing one. She felt like an idiot for ever thinking she could hold on to those memories when the last memory tainted all the others.
Her phone rang again. This time it was Hannah. She pressed a little button on her steering wheel and her best friend’s voice came through loudly in the car.
‘How are you holding up, Em? I heard.’
‘That was quick. How?’
‘Maddison called me. She sounded genuinely concerned,’ said Hannah’s disembodied voice. ‘She said your dad said some harsh things.’
No doubt Lauren would have filled Maddison in the moment Emma was out the door. ‘I don’t really know what to say,’ she told Hannah.
‘That makes two of us. And I can tell that’s not the only thing. What’s going on?’
Emma huffed a laugh. Of course Hannah would be perceptive. She knew Emma better than anyone.
‘Emma?’
‘Alex and I broke up.’
And they were the words that broke the dam.
‘Oh, Em, I’m so sorry! I can take the rest of the day off?’ Hannah offered.
‘No. I just want to be alone.’
There was nothing anyone could say or do that would help her now. She knew that what she and Alex had shared was temporary. He’d always been honest with her. Emotions didn’t follow logic, though, and she felt as if there was a rip right through her soul.
‘I understand. Call me if you need anything. Okay? Anything.’
‘Thanks, Han. I’ll see you later.’
Emma hung up just as she reached her building. With heavy steps, she made her way up to her apartment. Lucky was still ignoring her. She dropped her things on the small dining table and flopped onto the couch, where she curled up and let the tears fall. With arms wrapped around herself she sobbed, feeling completely bereft.
Lucky jumped off his perch and pounced on the cushions, pushing his way between her arms. She scratched his head, but nothing could stem the flow.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
‘GOODBYE,ALEX.’
Alex. That had crushed him.
All he’d been able to do was watch her leave and feel a part of him fracture.
He’d felt like raging. He’d wanted to break something. Tear his apartment apart. But he’d done none of that. He’d controlled his shattering heart, standing inhumanly still.
He’d stood rooted to the spot as he’d heard the door close behind her. The silence had been deafening. All he’d been able to feel was his lungs expanding and contracting. Everything else had fallen away. He was hollow.
‘What did I just do?’ he asked himself now.
A voice at the back of his mind told him it was the right thing, but it didn’t feel like it. He was sure Emma hated him now, and that felt worse than any torture he could imagine. Hadn’t he wondered what a life with her would be like? Except he’d told her to find someone else. He didn’t want to picture that. It hurt beyond words.
He’d called her, wanting to apologise, to ask her back, but his call had been rejected.
He ran his fingers through his hair, as if somehow that was going to fix all the broken pieces inside him. It did make him move. Back to his room, where he looked at the bed. His cruel mind replayed images of Emma stretched out over it, calling his name. Of him watching her sleep last night after she’d toppled his world.
Alex backed away from the piece of furniture as if it were a dangerous animal. He showered and dressed robotically. What he needed was work. Something to stop him feeling as if the walls were crumbling.
He walked into his study and was assaulted by the memory of kissing Emma against the door. A heavy sigh escaped him. She was going to haunt him.
