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She grimaced. “I’ll try my best, but I’m not that well versed.”
“Never fear, just drop that you’re interested in going to any random museum or gallery and she’ll tell you every last piece you need to see.”
We decided on a signal, me asking for the salt. She earnestly promised to keep the salt shaker close to her and be ready. I wanted to kiss her, and for the first time it wasn’t solely because of lust. I couldn’t put my finger on what I felt, but I knew I wanted it to last.
Too soon, we arrived at the restaurant and like I suspected, dinner was wildly uncomfortable. Violet was a champ at being a buffer though, keeping my mom distracted with questions about art and life in Paris. It was exhausting, and I knew I’d have to make it up to her because this really was above and beyond. By the time dessert came, I was in the worst mood of my life, wishing what we were pretending was real, annoyed at my mother’s pretentiousness, and sad because she didn’t ask anything about what I’d been doing for the last year and a half, how I was taking Dad and Callie’s death. She never once mentioned either one of them.
Afterwards, Violet said she could take a cab back to her apartment, but I already had the driver and wanted to spend more time with her.
“It’s on the way,” I lied. “Don’t be silly. You earned a free ride home.”
“Oh, I was going to put the cab fare on the company card,” she assured me, making me chuckle.
“Are you exhausted?” I asked when we were settled in the back seat.
She shook her head. “Your mother was very nice.”
“But?” I asked, prodding her gently in the arm. “Go ahead.”
“You’re right that she doesn’t act much like a mom. You said the last time you saw her was at your dad’s funeral? She never even asked how you were.”
It was as if she’d been reading my thoughts. “She knows I’m fine,” I said.
“Still,” she said, defending me to the end.
That dinner was the closest I’d ever let anyone into my life since the accident and I felt embarrassed and strangely naked. What was worse was that I didn’t really mind since it was Violet. We arrived at her building and I wanted to take her hand and kiss it. Keep kissing up her arm until I reached her lips. I didn’t want to say goodnight. We sat in the parked car for a few moments, until things began to feel awkward. God, she really would have had a way better time with Jed. I didn’t have any right to interfere with her personal life the way I did, and the realization that I’d completely screwed things up in such a way that we could never be together hit like a hammer. I should have been honest from the beginning, but it was too late now.
I waved off the driver and got out, opening her door for her. She brushed against me as she got out and I had to clench my hands into fists to keep from taking her arms and pulling her close.
“You’re a lifesaver,” I said, keeping my tone light.
She shrugged. “No problem. I’ll have the notes for that dinner on your desk first thing Monday morning.”
I shouted with laughter and leaned over to kiss her cheek, fortunately stopping myself just in time.
“Enjoy your weekend,” I told her, meaning it. No matter what she ended up doing or who she did it with. Because she couldn’t be mine.
I watched her until she was safe inside her building and then got back in the car. It was too much. My brothers worrying about me, my mother introducing herself back into my life, knowing I’d never have a love like Will had with Callie no matter how many blind dates he set up for me. The fact my dad would have shaken his head sadly at my antics if he was around to see them. But he wasn’t around, was he?
I couldn’t handle the emotions crowding in. I messaged Pamela to meet me at my apartment. I didn’t want to think anymore, and most of all, I didn’t want to feel.
Chapter 10 - Violet
I laid around the entire weekend, arriving at the office bright and early on Monday. I could tell how miserable Eli was on Friday night at dinner, and how bad he felt for dragging me along, but I didn’t have such a bad time. It was a good time, actually, and the food was great, despite his mother complaining about every course. Best of all, I got to see Eli in a more human light, and he turned out to be pretty fun. If he asked me on a real date, I would accept in a heartbeat.
I had to keep stopping myself whenever I went down that road. Of course he’d never ask me out on a real date, that was nonsense. He was my boss and even if he wasn’t we lived very different lives. Still, I expected things to be different since Friday night. A fresh start.
About an hour later, after not hearing a peep out of him and having to make excuses for missing his first meeting, he dragged himself in. He had on sunglasses, his hair a mess, and not his usual stylish mess. A real, uncombed, unwashed mess. He grunted for me to cancel everything for that day and not to disturb him.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
He ignored the question and closed himself in his office. My hackles went up. Was he hungover? There was a distinct whiskey smell when he went past my desk. Why didn’t he call in sick and stay home? Well, what was it to me? I couldn’t help but be worried, since we were kind of friends now, but I knew better than to poke the bear and ruin our fresh start.
An hour later I was sure I heard soft snoring when I pressed my ear against the door. One of the writers poked her head into my office and waggled her eyebrows.
“Another rough night?” she asked.
I felt defensive for Eli, not wanting anyone to gossip about him. I was sure they already did though, since she didn’t seem shocked. I only shrugged and glared at her to go away.
