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“And you don’t want to lose your head. Is that right?”
He massages his throat. “Quite right.”
“You may disregard my opinion on the matter, but I like your head where it rests currently. Let’s endeavor to keep it there.”
I smile at him and he laughs. “You’re different,” Felix says, lowering his voice to a whisper. “Yet you’re the same. I find it perplexing.”
“You should try being me.”
“No, thank you, your majesty.”
He leads me to a set of double doors that are so tall I can’t imagine the strength it requires to pull them. Fortunately, they are already open.
Unfortunately, it gives everyone inside the ability to see me.
The nobles of the court stare at me with unabashed curiosity. Some attempt to hide it behind a raised hand to the mouth or a lacey fan. Others are not as polite. Their murmurs fill the air all at once like a puff of smoke.
With my chin set at an angle and my head lifted, I make my way down the red carpet that starts at the doors. The throne room is large and round with mirrored walls and granite floors. If not for the reflective surfaces, it'd be like walking into a mausoleum, complete with the scent of roses and jasmine. Considering my mother might want to kill me, it's an appropriate response to the space.
A dias sits at the back of the room, where the Queen presides over her kingdom, flanked by royal guards and a man dressed in black robes. Crimson velvet drapes hang from the ceiling, layered like a wedding cake, and stretch to pool on the ground. The crystal chandelier overhead throws prismatic light on the red curtains.
They'd do well in hiding blood.
I wrangle my morbid thoughts as I run my gaze over my mother. She’s stunning. The queen wears a crown of gold atop her raven hair and her dress is blood red with hearts lining the hem, all stitched in gold thread. We share the same blue eyes and pale skin, but that’s where the resemblance ends.
Her gaze is harder than the stone flooring. Under her scrutiny, I don't have a chance to look for Baxter or Lucien, not wanting to draw attention to them. My heart sighs in relief at the sight of Darius standing off to the side. Dressed in his finery, he has his timepiece in one hand and a scroll in the other.
Once I’m a foot away from the dias, I stop walking and clasp my shaking fingers. The noises from everyone’s blood is like the tolling of bells, wanting to be freed, everything coming together and clamoring in my head. Memories press against my psyche, competing with the sound of the crowd’s lifeforce. Sweat breaks out between my breasts with the effort it takes to subdue the chaos in my mind.
At the queen’s nod, Darius begins to read. His voice grounds me enough to keep from retreating.
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen of the court. It is the queen’s pleasure to welcome home Alice, the Princess of Hearts. You are to remain silent as the Queen of Hearts questions her daughter concerning her whereabouts. Only when the kingdom is deemed safe, will we commence with the celebration. As you know, her majesty only has your best interests at heart.”
The queen raises a hand with a smile lifting her red lips. “Alice darling, where have you been?”
Internally, I wince at the name. It’s no longer part of my identity, but that’s not something worth arguing about. My mother has no idea of the changes that have occurred within me and I have no desire to enlighten her.
“I wish I could tell you of a grand adventure, your majesty. As it is, I only have the truth. I was in another world, one conjured by the nightmares plaguing me, exacerbated by my lack of memory.”
The queen tilts her head. “That’s peculiar. So you never left Wonderland?”
Darius’s gaze bores into me and uncertainty claws at my insides. If I tell her the truth, will it condemn my lover? If I lie, will it save him?
“I went through a portal.”
“How?” she asks. “Did my messenger assist you in that?”
I nod. “I can’t speak for him when it concerns his motives.”
The queen flicks her wrist in a dismissive gesture. “I’ve alreadyreadDarius. He is as clueless as you claim to be.”
My head pounds, not only with fear but because of the memories breaking through the shields. The pain has me sucking in a breath.
The queen squints in my direction. “Come here, child.”
I close the distance between us, my feet growing heavier with every step. From my peripheral vision, I catch Darius clenching his jaw, his hands now fisted at his sides. I shake my head as though to clear it, but the motion is to encourage his silence.
It’s my turn to protect him.
