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“That’s not why I was scared, Callie. When you screamed…” He stills. “Fuck,” he exhales. “I felt like back then, the day after the Block Party, when I knew I royally screwed up and something bad was about to happen.”
My heart is a hundred drums that beat all at once, then pause, sinking me into the silence that closes around me.
“I can’t stay away from you, Callie,” Kai says softly, his lips hovering next to mine, his hand tugging gently at my braid. “I try. Because I feel that once I get close to you, something bad will happen, and I will lose you again.”
Again.
The word tugs at my heart in the best and worst ways. But the meaning of it dissipates, because I melt at his touch.
“Nothing will happen,” I murmur and capture his lips with mine in another soft kiss. I so desperately want to believe it, because I’ve lost too much in this life already.
“You drive me crazy, Callie. And give me hope that I don’t think any of us can have in this shitty world.”
“It’s not shitty. Not when you have someone—”
You love, I want to add.
I feel my chest burn with emotions that make it hard to breathe.
Kai kisses the corner of my lips, then my cheek. I want to run my hand over his body and make those scars that he is so ashamed of disappear like magicians do in fantasy movies. But I can’t even touch him. He doesn’t like that.
Katura’s advice is still in my head. So I do what I feel like, even though my heart slams in my chest at what I am about to say.
“I want to be with you, Kai. Tonight.”
I’m such a coward. I am using this one trump card. The one that every guy in the world falls for.
But I don’t care.
I want Kai.
Always have.
Even more so now. I want to heal his wounds and the sadness—the one that takes over him when he thinks no one is watching and he smokes and drinks like it can burn that sadness away. And I want to see more of his coy smiles that are so out of place on a guy tatted up to a brim. I want to hear his laughter when he surfs and jokes around with Ty.
I want all of him.
His face is so close that even in the darkness I can see his eyes searching mine for confirmation. Or at least that’s what I think.
“Can I stay with you tonight?” I ask.
Please, say yes.
He gets up, stretches his hand to take mine, and pulls me up.
“Petal, you are asking for trouble,” he says as he caves my body with his.
I laugh nervously. Trouble is what I want. If it has his face and body and heart. If it’s name is Kai Droga, the boy I’ve wanted for as long as I remember.
We walk toward his cabin, my hand in his, and I don’t care who sees it.
His place is familiar now. I’ve been here once. I dreamt about it.
The door closes behind us, and the rest of the world disappears. Kai turns on the dim lamp, then walks to the speaker and turns it on. Soft music starts trickling through the room. I don’t need music. Only him.
He comes over and wraps his arms around my waist.
“I almost lost you today,” he says.
