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He didn’t. I’m here.
I put my hands on his shoulders, touching the fabric of his shirt, the muscles under it taut and hard. I inhale the scent of him, salt and cigarette smoke.
This moment feels special. I stand on my tiptoes and kiss him.
His hand slides to the back of my neck. So familiar. So endearing. I melt. I dissipate at the kiss when his tongue sinks into my mouth.
“Kai,” I say when I pull away from him.
“Yeah, baby girl.”
I smile.
I know his degrees of intimacy by now.
I am Callie when he is serious or too vulnerable.
Petal when he is casual or bitter or funny or playful.
But when he feels close to me, it’s baby girl.
Funny how you learn a person by his words.
“Kai,” I whisper his name. I know he likes it. I learned that too. “I want you. I want to go all the way.”
But when I try to kiss him, he pulls away and stares at me.
“You know what I mean,” I say. I know he does.
“Are you sure?”
God, how could I think this guy could do anything against my will? An angel dressed in the suit of a devil.
“Yes. So sure you have no idea.”
I chuckle as I rise on tiptoes again to kiss him.
43
KAI
What the hell,bro?
I kiss Callie, and I am already hard. But when she says the last words, I try to relax but I can’t.
I am nervous.
What the fucking fuck?
I’ve wanted her for years. My fantasies about her are borderline psychotic.
But when she says she wants to do it with me, my mind stalls.
She wants me to be her first. And it’s a big step. Because I know deep in my heart that I will be the first and the last. But if anything ever happens to her, I will never forgive myself.
And the thought—that thought—is heavy as fuck.
I pull away and look into her eyes.
