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Hoes before bros.
What she’ll never know is that I’d always choose her over a guy. She was my sister at heart. If she didn’t want me to be with Jay, if she asked me to stay away from him, I would’ve. My heart may have shattered in my chest, but I wouldn’t have given it a second thought.
“What now?” I ask. “I don’t know where to go from here.”
“What do you mean?”
“Sam gave us her blessing. We didn’t deserve it then and we don’t now. I don’t know what to make of this,” I say, motioning to the envelope on the table.
“I think we take her words to heart. We spend the rest of our life proving that there was a reason we couldn’t stay away from each other back then, that we were meant to be together, to love each other with our whole hearts. We get married this summer the way we’re planning to. We have nine more kids and live happily ever after.”
“Nine!” I screech, slapping my hand over my mouth and closing my eyes, hoping my voice didn’t carry up the stairs to where Sammy is sleeping thanks to Uncle Spencer.
“Fine, seven, but you’re not getting me to go any lower,” Jay jokes, wiggling his eyebrows at me.
“You’ll be lucky to get two more out of me, Mr. Ross.”
“Ooh. So formal. And what if I want three more, Mrs. Soon-to-be Ross?”
“One step at a time. You put a ring on it. It would be nice to be Mrs. Ross before popping out another mini you.” Leaning in close, I press my lips against his as I say, “But that doesn’t mean we can’t practice.”
“Are you sure you’re not pregnant already? You’re awfully horny these days,” he notes before pulling me close and capturing my lips with his.
When I finally pull away, breathless, I mentally calculate the last time I had my period, rule out pregnancy, then drag my soon-to-be-husband up to our room to practice. We barely get across the threshold when Sammy wakes up, his screams echoing down the hall as I reach for the button of Jay’s jeans.
“I’ll get him,” Jay offers, kissing me on the forehead before leaving me and my raging hormones standing in the middle of the room.
And he wants nine more?
I laugh at the thought of ten kids running around the yard as Jay and I watch from the swing he hung from the front porch last weekend. Ten might be a bit too many for me but I’m not opposed to having more. Especially when I see my sexy-ass-fiancé walk back in the room, shirtless, with our son pressed to his chest.
“Someone was missing his mama I think,” he says as Sammy catches sight of me, wiggling his entire body, a huge grin on his face.
All I can do is smile. I couldn’t be happier with the way my life is turning out. I only wish Sam was here to be a part of it. Though, there are times I swear she is here, watching over all of us. Keeping us safe. Smiling down.
“There’s something I think I’d like to do,” I say to Jay as I situate myself on our bed, resting against the headboard with Sammy curled in my arms. “I’ve been thinking about it all week, but I want your opinion.”
“Okayyy,” he says, drawing out the word. Nervous curiosity looks adorable on him.
“I want to talk to Ben Royal.”
“Why?” he asks before I can continue.
Shooting him a look that screams ‘calm down’ he nods his head and takes a seat at the end of the bed facing me.
“I want to interview him. I want to complete the profile. Ineedto complete it.”
“What’s nagging at you?” he inquires, knowing I’m leaving out the most important facts.
“It was too easy. He was a textbook case, yet he went undiscovered for five years. Yes, the police screwed up, overlooked things, but I think there’s more to the story than we know. I want a complete profile, one without holes in it, and I want to write a book. The story of Sam’s murder.”
“A book? Like a murder mystery?” Jay wrinkles his brow in confusion.
“No. I want to write her story. I want the world to know what an amazing person she was. It’ll be more of a biography of her life, told through the eyes of the people who knew her best. And part of it will be told through Ben’s eyes.”
Letting my confession sink in, Jay stares at me for a few minutes before finally nodding his head.
“What can I do to help?”
