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8
I gotover the unnerving feeling of Eli’s body pressed against mine. Then the shock of him calling me out on avoiding him. Which made my sole focus the overwhelming desire that was starting to bloom.
Consequences be damned, I wanted him to kiss me. To know if his lips were as soft as they looked. Would the first kiss be gentle or filled with pent-up passion? Slow or fast? Would it leave me wanting more?
So many questions flood my mind that I temporarily block everything around us out. The rise and fall of the water. The laughter of children in the distance. The only thing I can focus on is the feel of my heart hammering against my rib cage. The burning sensation in my lungs as I let out a breath, quickly sucking in another and holding it.
“You can deny it all you want, but I know you feel something for me,” Eli states, his lips moving against my skin as they burn a trail from my ear down my neck to where it meets my shoulder. “The air becomes charged, almost electric, when you walk in the room. The sweet scent of your shampoo surrounds me, as if calling me to you. And your eyes always find mine. But it’s the increase in your heartbeat, the rise and fall of your chest, that’s the biggest giveaway.”
“I can’t do this.” The statement is strong, but the words come out broken, making them sound uncertain, weak. Probably because that’s how I feel in his presence.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I can’t date Eli. He’s a celebrity. Our relationship could never be private. People will constantly be trying to tear us apart. Rumors will fly. Lies will be spread. My heart will be ripped in two every time a new tabloid hit the stands with his face on the cover.
Cheating on his girlfriend.
Bored and ready to move on.
Trouble in paradise.
It doesn’t matter how you phrase it; they’ll spin it to sell as many copies as they can. And in the process, I’ll be the one put through the wringer. My heart can’t handle it.
More importantly, I don’t want to put myself in that position. I’ve seen it destroy too many relationships. Strong marriages that had stood the test of time have crumbled under the speculation of infidelity.
No thanks. I’ll pass on that drama.
Because the harder I fall, the harder it’ll hurt when he eventually lets me down. When he breaks my trust. My heart has been ripped out and trampled on once before. It was the worst feeling and I wasn’t even in love with Beckett. Yet there’s a part of me that’s never fully recovered from the devastation. A part of my heart that feels like it’s missing. Even after all these years.
And Eli … he possesses the power to steal what’s left of it.
“You can do this. You want to do this,” Eli starts, lifting his head and looking deep into my eyes. The reflection from the water has turned his light blues into deep pools of soft green. A sea of emotion is dancing in the depths of color. “Don’t shut me out, Taylor. I’ve never met anyone like you before. You’re not all Hollywood like the rest of them. You’re down-to-earth. Funny. A bit stubborn. And you don’t let people push you around. You’re a bit of a mystery, but the one thing I’m certain about is that your heart is big, and you’ve erected walls around it to guard it from potential damage.
“I’m not sure what I need to do to prove to you that I’m worthy, but I’ll do it. I’m not afraid of a challenge. I don’t give up easily. However, there is one thing I need you to do for me.” I want to ask what, but he doesn’t give me a chance. “When the day comes that you decide you want to wave your little white flag and give me a chance, I want you to set your armor aside. Let me see the real Taylor Rush.”
My eyes never leave his as he leans in. I can feel his breath against my lips, and again I find myself silently begging him to erase the last bit of difference between us. To press his lips to mine. To take me in his arms and show me what it feels to be loved by him.
Those thoughts remain locked away as he kisses me on the cheek, then the forehead, before releasing his hold on me and sinking under the water. When he surfaces seconds later, brushing his unruly, dark brown locks out of his face as water drips from his chin, I feel my resolve crack.
One step toward him and half of the distance is closed.
Another and I’m raising my arms up to wrap them around his neck.
I clasp them at the base of his neck, and Eli raises an eyebrow at me.
When I gently tug as I push up on my tiptoes, a slow smile begins to spread across his face. My eyes close on their own, denying me the reward of seeing his smile reach its full potential. Instead, my reward is the gentle brush of Eli’s lips against mine. Once, twice, and then I’m pulling at the back of his neck, holding his lips hostage.
I’m waving my white flag.
Eli’s hands glide up and down my sides as he lets me control the kiss. When his movements slow, his hands gripping my hips, I know I’ve shattered his self-control.
His tongue traces the seam of my lips, and I let out a moan, opening my mouth just enough for him to slip inside. Stealing my breath, Eli’s hands move to my cheeks, holding me hostage as he devours me. He tastes like cinnamon, and suddenly I have the urge to buy every pack of Big Red gum I can find so I never forget the way he tastes.
Pressing both of my palms against his chest, he finally releases me, but not before a final, gentle kiss to my lips.
“That was even better than I imagined it would be,” I hear him say, still cradling my face with his hands, his grip gentler now as his thumbs rub up and down the curve of my cheekbones.
I want to agree with him but now that I’m coming back down to earth, the fog of kissing Eli slowly lifting, alarms start blaring in my head. The urge to run is ever present but I keep my feet planted as water continues to roll around us.
“Say something, Taylor.”
