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“I don’t know what to say.”
“Tell me how you feel right now then. Honestly.”
“Confused. Happy. Nervous. Turned on. I want to kiss you again but I’m also afraid it’s a mistake. I barely know you.”
A devious smile graces Eli’s face as I continue to ramble on.
“You want to kiss me again, huh?” he teases, wrapping his around my waist, keeping me prisoner against his firm body. “How about this time I kiss you?”
“Did you miss the part about me being confused? Not knowing you?”
“No, I heard all that. I hear everything you say to me. With your words. The looks you give me. The way your body responds to mine. I’m very in tune with you, Taylor.”
“Not possible,” I argue, attempting to wiggle out of his hold. I’ve turned around, now facing the shore, when I hear him groan. Looking over my shoulder, I see that there’s a pained expression on his face and I’m about to ask if he’s okay when I feel him pressed against the small of my back.
“Don’t move, Taylor. I need a second.”
My gut reaction is to giggle uncontrollably. And I do. I can’t seem to stop. Even when I hear him growl. The situation is unexplainably funny to me, or maybe it’s my nerves.
Because I did that.
I caused that reaction.
I’m not sure why it’s so hilarious but it is to me.
It’s not until he pulls me tightly against him, my back to his front, and whispers in my ear that I choke on my next giggle.
“I have a feeling you wouldn’t be laughing if you could see what you do to me.”
That’s when Austin’s words float through my mind, taunting me.
Is he hard?
This time, he is. Because when I graze his groin, there’s no denying he is already turned on. The truth is, so am I. From only a kiss. I can only imagine how fired up I’ll feel if we take things a step further.
“I have to go,” I whisper, my voice sounding small and uncertain. That’s how I always feel when it comes to Eli.
For the past two weeks he’s texted me no less than twice a day. We see each other on set. We interact when necessary. But in all honesty, he’s been giving me the space I need to clear my head. Not that he hasn’t been on my mind.
And to ensure I don’t forget about him, there’s always a message waiting for me when I wake up.Good morning, beautiful.And he sends me a message before I fall asleep.Sweet dreams.
I don’t reply. I feel like a bitch, especially when he begs me to run lines with him. Or propositions me with food.
And don’t get me started on the flowers that have started being delivered to the set regularly. Every Monday and Friday at exactly noon. A fresh bouquet of the same purple and yellow flowers he brought me that first night. They smell amazing but people are starting to ask questions.
Thankfully, the card is never signed, so the one-time Celia snagged it out of my hand, Eli’s identity wasn’t given away.
“Have dinner with me tonight. Please.”
“I already have dinner plans. I’m going to the team dinner. Free food and booze.”
“Dessert? A drink after? Anything? I just want to spend time with you, Taylor. To get to know you better. So you can get to know me. Maybe then you won’t be so scared of this.”
This.
A single word that does nothing to describe what’s going on between us. It’s vague yet it encompasses so much. Desire. Passion. Longing.
The truth is, I’m scared ofthis.He knows it. I’m not trying to hide that. He just doesn’t know the reason why. Or rather, reasons. Because as much as I want to blame my mother for my fear of the spotlight, it’s Beckett’s fault I don’t trust men, and my fault I don’t trust my own judgment. I’m the reason I question everything. Because I let him blindside me and I refuse to repeat the same mistake again.
