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Alexis
With the lustin Micah’s eyes, I expected the heat between us to skyrocket as soon as my back hit his mattress. For our clothes to fly across the room, hands wildly grabbing at each other.
Something shifted between us the moment we crossed the threshold of his bedroom.
Sliding down his body, I stood back and stared up into his passion-filled eyes. A dark storm was brewing but we didn’t rush, slowly undressing each other. Exploring each other’s bodies with only our eyes before moving to the bed where we did the same with our hands. When we finally came together, it was as if our bodies were doing a slow dance. Moving in sync with one another. Drawing out the moment until it had both of us wound so tight, we couldn’t hold on any longer.
And as our heavy breaths mingled, a startling realization smacked me across the face.
One I’ve been trying to avoid.
The walls I tried to put up between us just shattered. The feelings I have for him go deeper than I want them to.
This wasn’t supposed to happen. It’s why I made rules. The list that outlined how our relationship would go. This was only supposed to be about sex. The line was drawn in the sand. No one was supposed to find out about us because we weren’t going to last long enough to feel obligated to tell our friends.
If I want out, now would be the time. Before either of us gets hurt. Before the feelings grow and blossom into something much bigger. Something scarier. Something that has the power to destroy both of us.
Because that’s what love does.
It holds your heart in a vise grip, slowly crumbling it over time. Then poof! Everything you had is gone. Because you become reliant on another person. For your self-image. For your self-worth. To build you up.
The thing about love is that it has the power to tear you down with the snap of its fingers. It’s an all-consuming feeling with all-consuming consequences.
This feeling that’s blossoming inside of me... there’s no stopping it.
Love is like a locomotive. Someone is always shoveling the coal in, feeding the engine. Sometimes it’s fierce and racing down the tracks, barreling through anything that steps in its path. Other times, it’s fed slower, it builds up speed.
It’s the moment the train runs out of coal that I fear the most. Because the train will eventually slow to a stop. Breakdown. And there’s no telling if someone will come along to fix it.
“You still want to study?” Micah asks as he slides into a fresh pair of boxer briefs while I admire the carved muscles of his back.
“Not really. I can study later.” Looking over his shoulder at me, he raises his eyebrow quizzically as he steps into his shorts. “I don’t have any exams until finals and those aren’t for a few weeks. I have plenty of time to study.”
“What would you like to do then?”
Silently offering me a shirt, I nod my head at Micah before answering him. “I want to finish telling you my story before we get sidetracked. Again.”
Pulling the soft, blue cotton over my head, Micah covers me from the waist up before searching the floor for my discarded underwear. When he finds them, he slingshots them to me, a devious smirk on his face when they bounce off my nose and land in my lap.
“Cute,” I state as I stand and shimmy into the black, lace boyshorts.
“Yes, they are.” His eyes take in my bare legs, the hem of his shirt falling mid-thigh.
“Anyway,” I say, stretching out the word as I saunter past him and out into the living room. “Let’s finish this stupid conversation so we can do more fun things.”
“Fun things?” I hear him ask from behind me. Instead of answering, I give my hips a shimmy before plopping down on the couch. “Have I ever told you I like the way your mind works?”
“I bet you do.” Tucking my feet under me, I sit facing Micah and suck in a deep breath, closing my eyes as I let it out slowly. “So, I’m going to tell you something that only Piper knows about. I need you to listen without interrupting. No questions until I’m done. Can you do that?” I can see the concern growing in Micah’s eyes as he nods his head in understanding. Averting my gaze, I focus on where my hands are clasped together in my lap. “My parents—my mom and stepdad—they weren’t always assholes. When I hit high school, things started to change. My brothers were getting older, my mom went back to work to help pay the bills, and I was expected to help with the boys. I didn’t mind but I also wanted to have a life.”
Not that I had much of one. I didn’t have any money to do anything fun, but it didn’t cost anything to hang out with my friends. And that’s all I wanted to do. The same thing every fifteen-year-old girl wants. To hang around with her friends and talk about boys.
“Right before my junior year started, my stepdad’s’ brother, John, came to live with us. At first, I thought it was great because he helped with my brothers, and I had more freedom. Our house was small—three bedrooms, one of which was barely the size of a large closet. That was my room. It was on the opposite side of the house than the other rooms, near the backdoor. I liked it because it was easy access to get in and out of the house... not that I ever snuck out, but I felt like I had a little privacy.”
Lifting my head, I glance at Micah to find his jaw locked, lips pressed together in a firm line. He already knows what I’m going to say next. Where this story is headed. Or at least he thinks he does. And he’d be partially right.
“All the money I saved from babysitting, birthdays, everything, was hidden in a shoebox I kept at the top of my closet. It was my emergency fund. I was planning on using it to get my own place after high school if I didn’t get to go to college.”
Micah visibly relaxes but I know it won’t last long.
