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Avoid! Avoid! Avoid!
That single word is running through my mind on repeat as I release my hold on Lex and convince her to start her laundry while I order food, promising we can talk after. She hesitates but ultimately agrees.
That bought me five minutes.
Declan and Kendall walked in the door as I was placing the pizza order and I sent up a silent prayer prematurely. They were only popping in to grab a bottle of tequila for Taco Tuesday. Lex and Kendall started talking—more like Kendall was interrogating her about why she was skipping girl’s’ night—and as much as it irritated me that K was giving her shit, I didn’t step in. Not right away. When I saw the slight shift in Lex’s demeanor, I shot Declan a look only he would understand.
Get her the fuck out of here.
By the time they left, Lex had found a movie for us to watch with dinner, and I’d poured us each a glass of sweet tea. The pizza guy was knocking on the door as soon as the opening credits started to roll.
Cuddled on the couch, the pizza box half empty on the coffee table in front of us, I can feel Lex pumping herself up for whatever it is that’s on her mind. I let her take her time, mentally preparing myself for the worst.
For her to break up with me.
I’m on edge the entire second half of the movie. Waiting. Getting the sense she’s ready to talk every so often as she shifts uncomfortably. But she never says a word.
It’s not until the movie ends and the loading screen is staring back at us that she finally clears her throat. Reaching for the remote, I shut off the TV and give her my full attention. Lex untangles herself from my embrace and moves to sit at the opposite end of the couch facing me.
“Growing up, it wasn’t always bad.” Shit. I have a feeling her breaking up with me would hurt way less than whatever she’s about to tell me. “My stepdad wasn’t always an asshole. My mom actually cared about me, even after my brothers came along. We used to do all the girly things together. She’d do my hair and paint my nails. And as I got older, she taught me how to apply my makeup and helped me find clothes that complimented my body.”
“What does that mean?” I ask, immediately regretting interrupting her.
“It means when I go to buy a bathing suit, I can’t just buy a size six. I need an extra-large top and a medium bottom. It’s hard to find clothes that look good on you when you’re short and thin but big on top. Pants are always too long on me, so she showed me how to hem them myself. Shirts were always baggy around my waist but tight across my chest.”
Lex has a bangin’ body. Curves in all the right places and she fits perfectly against my body. Do I love her large tits? Hell yes. Would I love her breasts just as much if they were smaller? Yup.
The first thing I noticed about her were her eyes. Crystal clear, ice blue eyes. They penetrated me down to my soul. Held me captive. I couldn’t look away. But when I did, when I took in the rest of the package placed in front of me, I knew I was in serious trouble.
“You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen but it has nothing to do with your body.” Sliding across the couch, I close the distance between us. When I take her hand in mine and give it a squeeze, she tilts her head, and our eyes meet. “It’s what’s inside of you that makes you gorgeous. Your sincerity. Your heart. Your soul. And I see it all when I look in those piercing blue eyes.”
A true smile flashes across her face for a brief second as she says, “I hate my boobs.”
“You can hate them all you want, but you’re stuck with them. Embrace what you were given. Learn to love yourself. I’m far from perfect but I’m okay with that because I’m confident in who I am.”
“As far as I can see, you’re damn near perfect. Please, enlighten me of your faults.”
“I have a scar under my chin that looks like a giant divot,” I state, lifting my head and running my finger across the offending imperfection. “It happened when I was three. I was running with a fork in my hand and tripped, stabbed myself in the chin. My mom freaked out because I was bleeding everywhere.”
“Not exactly what I was referring to but what else?” she asks.
“Fine. I suck at writing and hate to read. Barely passed English in high school because I refused to write the papers I was assigned. But I love to draw. I love math. I’ve been building things since I was little, at first with Lego’s and then with real materials like wood and metal.”
“You do realize you just turned a flaw into something amazing, right?”
“I do. You should try it.”
She seems to think it over before tucking her feet beneath her and smiling up at me. “I hate my body, but I love my hair. I love how it holds the perfect curl. Not too thick, not too thin, and it’s never frizzy.”
“Give me another,” I encourage as I reach out and pull her into my lap, not wanting any space between us.
“I’ve always been too eager to please everyone. My parents with my grades. Fellow classmates by helping with homework and tutoring. My boss by working hard and staying late when needed. I can’t seem to say no to anyone. Until you.”
“Wait... am I the flaw?”
“Yes.”
“I’m not sure how to take that.”
“You’re my perfect imperfection, Micah Graham. I can tell you no, but you don’t listen to me. I’ve tried to stay away from you, to take this slow, to not lean on you in case you disappear on me, but I don’t think I can do that anymore. I’ve said no a hundred times and now I want to say yes because you want me the way I am. Flaws and all. Sketchy past. Uncertain future.”
“Your future is not uncertain, Lex. It can be whatever you want it to be.”
“Okay, wise one,” she chides, turning in my lap so she’s straddling me, flexing her hips. Back and forth. Tempting me. “What do you want your future to look like?”
“Right now, I’m not thinking past the next thirty minutes, and if you keep grinding against me, it’ll be a much shorter future.”
“There are still things I want to tell you tonight.”
“And I want to hear all of them. After I hear you scream my name,” I state, standing with her still in my lap, forcing her to lock her arms and legs around me.
