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The party goes on behind me as I stare out at the cornfield. Rows and rows of stalks as far as the eye can see in the daylight. Right now it's dark and shadowy, the moon highlighting its depths but also hiding the secrets within.
Everyone and everything has secrets.
The cornfield. My parents. Me.
And the stress of those secrets is piling up.
"How are you, sweetheart?"My mother’s voice is sickly sweet, a tell-tale sign that she's about to drop another bomb on me. Still, I'll play along. Let her have her moment. Pretend I don't know something bad is about to happen.
"I'm fine, Mom. How are you?"
"Fine, fine. Just calling to check in on you. Your texts have been short lately, and you haven't been returning my phone calls. I wanted to make sure nothing was wrong."
"I've been busy. You know how things are at the beginning of the semester for me."
"Yes, I know, but it feels like you've been busier than normal. Maybe ... avoiding me."
Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner!
When all I get is bad news piled on top of bad news, why would I want to talk to her? The divorce was only the first blow. She dropped the bomb that she was selling our home just before classes started. Then, she called to tell me she was moving. I wasn't surprised until she explained she meant further away. As in, out of the state, across the country, to California where the sun always shines.
"A fresh start," she explained.
And she wasn't waiting to make the move. The same day she received an offer on the house, she packed up and was on the road.
That was just over a week ago.
It makes me wonder what it's going to be today. Did she meet someone? Get remarried on the beach in her precious new coastal town? It could be anything at the rate my mother is making rash decisions these days.
"I'm not avoiding you, Mother. I'm just that busy. I told you I took on an internship. I work three days a week, have classes four days, tutor at least one, and that leaves very little time for much else. Including this phone call since I have to leave in five minutes. So please, for the love of all that is holy, just tell me why you called so I can go."
I've never, not even once, spoken to my mother that way. And her silence tells me I've hurt her feelings.
What about my feelings, though?
She hasn't taken them into consideration once since all this shit started. She didn't ask me what I thought about her selling the house. Or her moving. She hasn't even asked how I'm dealing with the divorce.
Does she not realize this affects me too?
"Oh, Piper. I'm so sorry. I just wanted to check in, say hello, hear your voice, and find out how you were doing. I know this hasn't been easy for you. It hasn't been easy for any of us. But life goes on, people move on, and you will too."
"Yes, Mother. I'll move on. But it won't be at warp speed like you are. It's going to take me a little longer to accept the fact that my parents’ marriage was a sham. A complete lie. That for years you both pretended things were fine when they were anything but. And considering Dad was the one cheating on you—"
"I knew about it, Piper. I knew, but I didn't want to believe it. Then one day, I just couldn't handle it anymore. I didn't want to keep living in denial. So it may seem to you like I'm moving faster than I should, but I've had years to accept this. I spent years mustering the courage to leave your father. And in that time, I formed a plan."
"Well, I'm glad you have it all worked out." My voice is laced with contempt. "I've gotta go, Mom. I'll talk to you later."
Throwing my phone on my bed after I hang up, I swallow the scream threatening to break free. Lex is in her room, getting ready for the Kappa party, and the last thing I want is for her to start asking questions.
Again.
Because if I'm not dreaming about Julian at night, I'm having nightmares about my parents. Both cause me to wake up screaming for completely different reasons. And Lex is always there when I open my eyes.
"You know…"he drawls, causing the hair on my arms to stand on end. "You shouldn't be out here alone. Anyone could sneak up on you, and then what would you do? Where would you run?"
The deck spans the length of the house, but there aren't any stairs. You have two entrances, one off the kitchen that's directly behind me, blocked by my current company, and the other at the other end of the deck that leads to the living room. Too far to run if I were to be attacked.
"Ever had a swift kick in the nuts?"
