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Which is why I dream about him almost every night. Last night's dream was particularly detailed.
Me on top, riding him. His hands on my hips, guiding me.
I resist the urge to fan myself, remembering that Julian is staring at me. Waiting for my reply.
"What?"
"How do you resist my charm, Piper?"
Oh shit.
How the hell do I get out of this conversation?
Abort!
I sure as hell can't tell him I can't resist his charm. That even when his smirk isn't directed at me, my body has a physical reaction to it. That I dream about him at night and the naughty things I want him to do to me. That I can still feel the singe of his hands on me.
"What do you mean? If you were trying to work your magic on me, I'd know it. I'm almost a genius, remember?" I let out a little laugh, but even I can hear it's forced. Smart girls aren't very good at playing dumb.
"Are you sure about that?"
Setting down his water, Julian leans forward again, and I find myself leaning in as well before I can stop myself. When his fingertips brush against mine, a fire sparks inside me, causing me to jump back. There's no denying he felt it as well.
The spark.
The electricity.
My soul calling to his, begging him to touch me again.
Don't do this, Piper.
There's no turning back.
It will ruin your friendship. Not to mention, he's your boss!
"Piper, I—"
"Don't." It takes all the strength I have to say that one word. Because I use the rest of my energy to look away from him. It's the only chance I have at saving myself from heartache. From making a mistake that even a genius wouldn't be able to fix.
"But—"
"You're my boss, Julian. My friend. You promised."
That promise was for me. So I would make smart decisions. So I would keep myself in check. And yet here we are. Alone. I'm letting my guard down. Only a few weeks after he promised me we'd be friends. And I'm doing a shitty job at hiding the effect he has on me. Of pretending that I want nothing more from him than a platonic relationship.
I've allowed myself to be backed into a corner. The only way out, through Julian.
"I never should have—"
"But you did."
"Can I finish, please?" When I don't say anything, he continues. "I never should have promised you anything. I should have been honest with you from the beginning. That I've wanted you since the first time we met. That working side-by-side is pure torture for me because all I want is to pull you in my arms and kiss you. That I'm excited I get to see you all the time, without everyone else acting as a buffer, but I'm also scared as fuck that I'm going to somehow ruin everything. That I'll scare you away."
I can't believe what I'm hearing.
He wanted me.
All this time.
