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Which it has.
"No, but I'm falling for it more often."
"Is that a bad thing?"
"Sometimes. He's not a morning person, and if he makes me late for class, I'm going to kick his ass."
"He owns an alarm clock, right? Knows how to work his phone, so it blares loud music or something to wake him up?"
"It's not waking up that's the problem. It's getting him out of bed. Once he's up, he's ... up, if you know what I mean."
Covering my face with my hands, I let loose the laugh that builds in my chest.
"I can't believe you just said that. You realize I'm picturing Micah's naked ass right now, and there's no way to scrub it from my brain."
Now Alexis is laughing. It's been months since the day I walked in on them, but I still can't erase that visual. Not because he doesn't have a nice ass, he does, but because it was the last thing I thought I would see when I got home that night. I was still paralyzed by my parents’ announcement, and I needed my best friend. Only when I found her, she wasn't alone. Or fully clothed.
"I'm still sorry you had to see that. And thank you for not repaying me the kindness."
"You don't have to worry about that. There will be no naked men in this bed for the foreseeable future. I barely get enough sleep these days. The last thing I need is a reason to stay up all night. Even if it would be fun." I wiggle my eyebrows at Alexis, but she continues to stare blankly at me. "What?"
"Is that what's been going on with you lately?"
"What do you mean?"
"You've been evasive every time I try to talk to you about it, but you're sad, Piper. Really, really sad. And I try not to point it out, but it's been months and you're still sad. You know you can talk to me, right? I'm always here for you. So what happened? Tell me so I can help you."
Wow! This conversation just took a dramatic turn, straight into a brick wall.
"I'm not sad. I swear. I'm just busy."
"But you weren't busy before classes started, and you were sad even then."
I didn't realize she noticed. I put on my brave face every day, perfected my fake smile, and said all the right things. No one questioned me.
Not then. So why now?
"Look," she starts before I can figure out what I'm going to say. Which lie to tell. "Whatever it is, it can't be that bad. You’re strong. You can deal with it, I get that. But you don't have to do it alone. You'd never let me fight alone. Why do you think I'd let you?"
"I'm not fighting anything."
"Lie."
"Alexis, I swear—"
"Stop lying to me. If you aren't ready to talk about it, fine. But you can't keep lying to me. And you should stop lying to yourself. Because whatever is going on, isn’t going to magically go away. You have to deal with it. And I wish you'd let me help."
For fuck’s sake.
I love this girl. She's my best friend. And she has a valid point. I shouldn't be lying to her. Not about this. But to say the words out loud makes it all real.
More real than when I confessed to Max. More real than when I talk to my mom or dad, or avoid talking to them.
Which I've been successful at as of late.
I'm not sure I'm ready for it to be real. If it's real, happily ever afters don't exist. And as much as I've given up on them, I still want to believe in them. Just in case.
"Is this about Micah? Because if it is, I'm sorry. For everything. For not telling you right away. For spending so much time with him. I promise to be here more. To—"
