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The red light casts a glow against his cheek as he stares at me, but when it turns green, Julian makes no move to accelerate through the intersection. Instead, he keeps his eyes locked on mine, waiting for an answer. But it's not food that's on my mind. It's not food he's asking about. That might have been the question, but it's never been about food with us. It's the act of making it, creating it, and experimenting with it.
"Will you cook with me?" I finally ask.
"Forever." His statement warms my heart. Leaning toward him, my lips brush against his as a horn blares behind us. That doesn't stop Julian from pressing forward, stealing a swift kiss along with the rest of my heart.
Because he's held half of it from the moment I met him.
"You keep saying that and I might hold you to it," I joke as Julian finally accelerates through the intersection.
"It's a promise, pretty girl. One I plan to keep for the rest of my life."
"That's a long time. You sure you're up for the challenge?"
Julian laughs as he takes the final turn toward his apartment but doesn't reply. The next ten minutes are spent in comfortable silence as the radio plays spooky songs, and Julian holds my hand. There's a sense of peace that washes over me I haven't felt in a long time. I'm grateful for it. Enjoying it, until my phone rings and my mother's face flashes across my screen.
"Aren't you going to answer that?" Julian asks when I pause with my finger over the screen.
I haven't spoken to her in weeks. I've been avoiding her calls. Every time I talk to her it reminds me that love doesn't last forever. That it can break beyond repair. And that happily ever afters aren't guaranteed.
"My parents are getting divorced," I confess. I thought about telling Julian a million times, but I never wanted to ruin the vibe we had going. And talking about divorce, my parents, or the reason I lost my faith in love isn't exactly exciting.
"She probably needs you right now, don't you think? You should answer it. Talk to her. Be her shoulder to cry on. She loves you, Piper. Despite how things worked out with your dad, that doesn't diminish how she feels about you."
My phone stops ringing before I can slide my finger across the screen. I stare at it until it goes black and then tuck it back in my purse.
"Call her back. Let her know you love her. That you're there for her," Julian encourages, giving my hand a light squeeze as we pull up in front of his building. "She lost the person she thought she would love for the rest of her life. Don't let her think she lost you too."
"She hasn't lost me," I confess, needing to suddenly lay all my fears on the table. "My parents were the epitome of love when I was growing up. I wanted to find what they had. I refused to settle for less. I set the bar high when it came to dating, which is why I haven't dated much. All to find out that their relationship was a sham. That everything I believed in was a lie."
"And what do you believe now?"
That I love you but I'm afraid to say it out loud.
That you love me; you've confessed it.
That forever is within my grasp if only I believe in the happily ever after I always dreamed I would get.
"I think love is complicated," he says when I don't respond. "I think it comes in many shapes and sizes, that what works for some doesn't work for others. And at the end of the day, you only see what you want, what other people allow you to see. I think the most important part of love is the feeling that comes along with it. The high you get when the other person walks into the room, whether they've been gone ten minutes or ten hours."
Julian pauses, removes his seat belt, and turns to face me. "That's what I think, but here's what I know." He cups my cheeks, and his mocha-colored eyes hold mine captive. "I know that a day without you in my life is ten times worse than a day spent fighting with you. I know that the feelings I have for you are stronger than anything I've ever felt before, and that includes my love for baseball, cooking, and my family. I know that you're the first person I think of when I wake up in the morning and the last before I fall asleep."
"Julian, I—"
"I love you, Piper. I've loved you for longer than I should have. I've fallen slowly, over the years. Fighting these feelings every step of the way, but I'm tired of fighting them. And you know what else I know?"
I shake my head, unable to say anything as I let his words sink in.
"You love me too. And one day, when you're ready to admit how you feel about me, I'll be right here, ready to hear you say the words. But until that point, let me make you one final promise."
I let out a sigh, attempting to prepare myself. Not that I'll ever be ready. I wasn't prepared for Julian two years ago. Or two months ago when I sat next to him. Falling in love with him was as much of a surprise to me as it was to him.
"I promise to love you even when you hate me, even when you're mad at me. I promise to remind you how much I love you when I screw up and you want to kick my ass. Most importantly, I promise to never go to bed angry. To always hold you in my arms and to talk things through."
Closing my eyes as he leans in, his breath fanning across my lips, he makes me one final promise.
"I love you, pretty girl. And I promise to show you that love every second of every day for as long as you let me and probably even after that because I'm stubborn."
"Good," I start, pulling back an inch when he attempts to seal his promise with a kiss. "Because I love you too."
