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"Me either," I mutter as Adam throws the car in drive and steps on the gas.
Chloe's in labor. The only thing I care about right now is getting to the hospital. Everything else can wait.
"Addy, it's time!"Chloe yells into the phone.
Shit. Shit, shit, shit!
"Are you sure?" I ask, gathering the papers spread across my desk and shoving them into a pile.
"My water just broke, and my contractions are only five minutes apart. Carmen is taking me to the hospital. Can you meet me there?"
"I'm on my way."
I've never bolted out of the office so fast in my life. My secretary tried to talk to me as I ran past her, heels dangling from my fingertips. All I could do was yell “the baby's coming” as I frantically pushed the elevator button.
My boss knows the situation. My secretary knows the situation. Everyone else in the office is looking at me like I've grown a second head, but I don't care. Chloe needs me, and I promised her I'd be there for her.
Walking into Chloe's room, I'm shocked at what I see. Her feet are high in the air and the doctor has his hand up her hoo-ha. I pause briefly, wondering if I should give them a minute because the moment feels a little intimate, then Chloe calls my name, propelling me forward without a second thought.
"All right, Chloe. You're fully dilated. It's time to start pushing," the doctor says as I take her hand in mine.
"Already?"
"Yes. She's ready to meet you. Now, I need you to suck in a deep breath, hold it, and push as hard as you can. When I tell you to stop, practice your breathing and we'll go again. Okay?"
"You can do this. I've got you," I say assuringly as she grips my hand tighter.
Two hours later, my hand is numb and bruised from Chloe's grip, but our gorgeous girl has made her arrival, and she's the most precious thing I've ever seen.
The pain in my heart at the loss of my own child is overshadowed by the love I see in Chloe's eyes. She didn't plan to have a baby. She swore she wasn't ready for this. She claimed she was alone in the world.
All of that changed the moment they laid her on Chloe's chest.
She'll never be alone again.
The pounding in my chest is overwhelming. The urge to call Liam for the first time in over a year is all consuming. This is a moment we could have had. If I had been stronger. If I had fought harder for our child.
Walking down to the nursery while Chloe rests, I stare at Lola and wonder if I'll ever feel the love of a child of my own. If I'll ever find someone to share my life with.
If I'll ever heal from the scars of my past.
Lola wasa bright light shining through the darkness for me. She made me believe that, one day, I would be able to move past all the pain and start a new life. Without her or Chloe in my life, I may have never overcome the pain that haunted me.
As Lola has grown up, it's dulled a little more each day. Meeting Adam was what I needed to chase the demons away. He was my second chance. My fresh start. The new beginning I dreamed of.
We can't truly let go of our past, start over, and have our new beginning until we face it head on. With Liam waiting at the house to talk to me, I have the chance to put it all behind me. For good.
