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"They smelled like her. Are you kidding me? She shouldn't have been in your room to begin with, Leo. You shouldn't have let her in. You wouldn't have unless you wanted to be alone with her. That's why you wanted to know where I was, wasn't it? To make sure you didn't get caught."
Her accusations have merit. I did want to know if she was on campus. I was worried she would see Tandy and freak out. Not telling her the complete truth has made things even worse, and I don't know what to say to make her feel better. I know what it feels like to be lied to, and I refuse to lie to Evie.
Even if it means she'll forgive me sooner.
Even if it will help us put this behind us.
The truth will always come to light.
"Yes and no." I push off the ground and open my door. I walk inside, hoping she'll follow me, but she doesn't. "Yes, I wanted to know where you were. I wanted to avoid this from happening."
"I can't believe I took a chance on you. I fell for every lie. I almost gave you my virginity."
Her words strike deep, penetrating my heart like a knife.
"I also didn't tell you she was here because I didn't want to hurt you. But selfishly, I didn't want to explain what happened between us. Because talking about it hurts me. I was trying to save us both."
I'm hoping if I can keep the conversation going, she'll at least listen to what I have to say. To hear me out, even if at the end of it, she still walks away. I want her to know I didn't cheat on her, that I never would, because that feeling of betrayal hurts worse than the thought of losing her forever.
"Bullshit, Leo!" Storming into my room, she slams the door. She walks straight up to me and points her finger in my face. "You must think I'm an idiot. Falling for your charm, all those lines you threw at me, roping me in. I'm not, though. I can spot a liar a mile away."
I don't get a chance to reply before Evie takes a step back, her nose wrinkled.
"Jesus, it smells awful in here."
"I told you, I had to wash my bedding because it smelled like her. I've already sprayed air freshener, but it isn't helping."
I emptied the can of spray and opened a window before I went downstairs. I hoped her scent would be gone by the time I returned, but no such luck.
"Evie, listen. I know how this looks. I need you to believe me when I tell you it's not what you think. She came here trying to rekindle the flame she doused."
"And you can honestly tell me you don't have feelings for her anymore?"
Again, the truth is going to get me kicked in the nuts, but that's what I go with.
"I'll always love Tandy. She was a big part of my life for a long time. That's hard to erase. But the bad memories outweigh the good, and I'm not looking back. I don't want to even see her again, and I told her that."
"She didn't look all that upset when I passed her on the sidewalk."
"Did she look mad?"
Evie thinks it over for a second before responding, "Maybe a little."
"That's because I kicked her out after I told her exactly what I think about her. She didn't like what I had to say."
My gut tells me to expand on my answer, but I don't. She's either going to ask for more, or she's going to walk away. If she walks, I don't have to relive the past, but I lose Evie. If she asks, I'll man up and tell her everything. She's worth holding on to. Worth fighting for. I just need to know if she wants me to fight for her or not.
"She broke up with you."
"Yes."
"And obviously she thinks she made a mistake if she came here tonight."
"She was looking for a version of me that no longer exists. A version that hasn't existed in a long time."
"Which version is that?" Evie takes a seat on my bare bed, tucking the skirt of her dress beneath her legs as she crosses them.
She looks gorgeous tonight. Even with a scowl on her face. Her hair is tied in a knot on the top of her head. Her thick sweater dress lands just above her knees. Beneath it she's wearing black yoga pants that I happen to know make her ass look fantastic. And to complete her outfit, a pair of short ankle boots that match the cream color of her dress.
"A version that loved her," I finally say as I sit next to her. "The version of me she broke when she decided to cheat on me, get pregnant, let me believe it was mine, and have an abortion without telling me."
"Oh my god." There's sincerity in Evie's gasp as she takes my hand in hers. I need to tell her the complete story. From the beginning. How I fell in love with Tandy and all the ways she destroyed that love.
Threw it away like it was trash only to come crawling back tonight, begging for forgiveness.
Forgiveness she didn't find and never will.
