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Evie
I'm wadingthrough a sea of emotions as I stare into Leo's eyes. Leaning one way and then the other, making me feel off balance. Sick to my stomach. Ready to jump ship but at the last second, reconsidering. I want to believe him. And in some ways, I do.
But it's all a little convenient. His answers. The way he played it all off. Explained it all away. Turned the story of his relationship with Tandy upside down.
He didn't want me to believe that he would cheat on me becauseshecheated on him. Hurt him. Destroyed him. He knows what it feels like to be on that end of the pain. Pain he would never inflict on someone else. He wouldn't wish that kind of betrayal on his worst enemy.
There's some ounce of truth to his story. I heard it in his voice. He tried but couldn't mask the way it still hits a nerve. If it all actually happened, she was a mega-bitch. It makes me wish I had stopped her on the sidewalk and slapped her.
There's a nagging part of me that doesn't believe he's told me the whole truth, though. Like he's leaving out small facts, crucial details. My gut tells me to probe him. To ask the tough questions. To get the answers I need.
He's made it apparent that it's still hard for him to talk about. That doesn't negate the fact I need to decide if I believe he's being honest with me. If I believe things happened between him and Tandy tonight, the way he says they did.
That she left in a huff.
Angry.
Hurt.
Because she looked none of those things when I passed her on my way back here. There was a devious smirk on her face. I wouldn't call it a winning smile, but she was far from devastated.
Do I believe she's capable of manipulating the situation to fit her needs?
Probably. From everything he's said about her, she sounds like a world-class bitch.
Do I think she'll come back here? Try again? Beg for forgiveness until Leo relents?
Maybe.
If she's as ballsy as I think she is, I wouldn't put it past her. Leo said she cheated on him for months. Months! And it sounds like the only reason she told him the truth was because she ended up pregnant. Her conscience got the best of her. She broke up with him to save herself.
Selfish.
Everything she did was selfish. She didn't love Leo the way he loved her. Didn't show him the respect he deserved. Wasn't as invested in their relationship.
She wasn't chasing her happily ever after. If she had been, she wouldn't have cheated and lied.
But Leo was.
And it makes me wonder if when he pictures his future, she's still part of the vision. No matter how much she hurt him, still hurts him, love like that doesn't die. She has a piece of his heart—a broken piece, but a piece nonetheless—and she always will.
Which is why I head back to my dorm room.
Why I turn my phone off before crawling into bed, tucking the covers under my chin. I attempt to shut it all out. To think about anything other than the fact I watched another woman walk into Leo's dorm room. That he washed his sheets after she'd left. That it still smelled like her even with the window open.
I try to think about anything other than him and her together.
But my brain won't cooperate.
When I close my eyes, I replay what I saw in the hall. The way she touched him. Her body language. How she followed him into his room. And when the door shuts, I open my eyes as if the sound wakes me from a horrible dream.
I don't want to imagine what happened behind closed doors. I don't want to think about all the possibilities. That the evidence points to a scenario so different from the story Leo told, explaining it all away.
Tomorrow was supposed to be our day. The day we came clean. Stopped hiding.
I was dreading it for so many reasons. The fallout with Max. The hurt I knew would be swimming in his eyes before the anger took over. The way our other friends might react hearing we'd been sneaking around behind their backs, lying to them.
Deep down, I was also excited for all of that. Because it meant I could hold Leo's hand without fear. I could walk across campus and not look over my shoulder anymore. Instead of stealing moments in the shadows, we could let the sun warm our skin as we kissed.
