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Which is what hurts the most.
Was I that forgettable? Just another girl he made out with? A groupie, as Cleo calls them? They’re constantly hanging off Colt after his shows. At the Kappa parties.
Is that what he wants? Someone who looks at him with stars in their eyes and only sees him for what he does and now who he is inside? There’s more to him than his rockstar status. I know there is. I’ve seen it. Heard about it over the years.
Yes, he’s an amazing singer. Talented beyond measure. His band is a campus favorite and growing in popularity.
But he’s also kind and sweet. Funny. A great friend.
And those are the reasons I want to get to know him better.
It doesn’t hurt that he’s easy on the eyes and that his voice is sultry as hell. Even when he’s just talking, I feel that familiar tingle. Which is going to make the next few months hard to navigate.
We’ll need to meet almost every week to make sure things are on track. See each other regularly. Stay in constant communication.
I’m both looking forward to it and dreading it in the same breath.
I could give the project back to Cleo, or try to, but I’m not going to. I thought about it all afternoon, even typed out a text to her, but I couldn’t press send. This is something I need to do. Even if it means torturing myself in the process.
“Are you listening to me, Scarlet?” Timmy’s been droning on for the last ten minutes. I zoned out after the third time he tried to explain what I walked in on.
It wasn’t what you think.
She came on to me.
I tried to push her away.
Bullshit. His hands were gripping her ass, helping her grind against him. If he wasn’t enjoying it, he wouldn’t have had his eyes closed, his head resting against the back of the couch.
“Yes. I’ve heard everything you’ve said.”
“Good. I want to talk to you about Christmas. I know you wanted me to meet your parents, but I was thinking maybe you’d like to come home with me instead. My mom really wants to meet you and my dad—”
“No.” I cut him off before he can say more.
“You don’t even want to think about it?” He straightens in his chair, the worn wood creaking as he leans back.
Taking me out to my favorite restaurant turned into dinner at his apartment. With his nosy roommate just around the corner in the living room. The TV’s up loud enough I know which episode of The Office he’s watching.
Instead of a hearty pasta and garlic bread, he ordered pizza.
“It’s the same thing only packaged differently,” he tried to explain as he handed me two pieces on a paper plate.
No, it’s not. Not even close.
“I don’t need to think about it. And I don’t want you to meet my parents.”
“Since when?” He’s taken back by my admission, even though he shouldn’t be.
“I’m not sure how stupid you think I am, but what I saw was not what you just described. It wasn’t an accident. She didn’t come on to you. It wasn’t a misunderstanding.Youinvited her over.Youchose to be alone with her. Andyoumade the conscious decision to cheat on me. If I hadn’t walked in when I did, you would have fucked her, and don’t deny it. The really screwed up part is that even after being caught, you thought I was just going to forget about it. To forgive you. To accept your bullshit excuses.”
“What do you want me to say? I’m sorry, Scar. I love you. I want to be with you.” The sincerity in his voice it a little surprising. He believes he loves me but if he did, he wouldn’t have even looked at another girl.
“That’s the first time you’ve apologized for what happened,” I point out, setting my napkin on my plate as I scoot my chair back. “Too little, too late, Timmy.”
Standing, I remove my coat from the back of my chair, draping it over my arm.
“So what? You’re breaking up with me?” He tries to hide his shock, his lips pressed together, his face emotionless, but his voice betrays him.
“Yeah, I am. I want to be with someone who wants to be with me and only me. That person isn’t you. I don’t think it ever was.”
He calls my name as I close his apartment door behind me, but I don’t stop. Not until I’m halfway down the sidewalk, pulling my coat on as the bitter wind and falling snow assaults my exposed skin.
I wanted closure and I got it. I wasn’t about to sit there and listen to him make excuses over and over again. To profess his love for me when I no longer feel the same.
Reaching into my back pocket for my phone, I order an Uber to pick me up at the coffee shop around the corner. When I walk inside to escape the weather while I wait, I find a friendly face sitting in the corner.
