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“That’s what she said. But I’m not buying it, no matter what you two knuckleheads tell me.”
I shrug. “This is America. You’re free to be wrong if you want.” I take the foil off the large plate and get out a fork and knife. “Would you like some?”
“I already ate,” Harper says, irritation written all over her face. “You do know you’d be perfect together, right?”
“I don’t think so,” I say while settling myself on the stool next to hers. I pick up a rib and have a bite, letting the tangy barbecue sauce wash over my tongue. After I swallow, I add, “Look, I may have entertained thoughts of a future with Moira. I may have even tried to show her what a life with me would be like for her and the boys, but she made it exceedingly clear that she is not interested. Period. End of story. No more to say.”
“How did she make that clear?”
“What do you mean how?” I ask, annoyed at her persistence. “She used English. She spoke in full sentences and told me it was not going to happen.”
“You don’t need to get snippy with me. I’m trying to help.”
“I don’t need your help,” I tell her, digging into the mashed potatoes. “Mmm, those are some creamy potatoes.”
“Jack uses a stand mixer to fluff them up,” Harper says, plucking the cornbread off my plate and breaking off a chunk. “I just don’t understand what went wrong. You two were falling in love with each other.”
I choke a little, then say, “How do you figure that?”
“You weresuperobvious. The kissing on the street and in the closet, the way you’d stare into each other’s eyes and laugh and make sure you’d sit next to each other all the time,” Harper says, listing things off on her fingers. “The way you raffled off your LeBron jersey for Wyatt’s team so you could make sure they’d take a trip with you, and you could give them a tour of your life …”
Shrugging, I tell her, “I wanted to help the poor kid out. Besides, I didn’t even like that jersey.”
“Are you serious right now?” Harper asks, raising her voice. “YouloveLeBron. Love. Him. And youlovedthat stupid jersey.”
“So, I got caught up in a moment of sympathy for a kid who doesn't have much. Big deal.” Picking up another rib, I take a big bite, chewing furiously.
“Oh, my God, you two deserve each other. You’re both a couple of stubborn asses.”
“I’m not the stubborn one,” I say with a full mouth. “She is.” I swallow hard, then have a sip of beer to wash it down, pent-up anger bubbling up in my chest. “She’sthe one who decided we didn’t have a future together. Not me. I tried, Harper. Believe me, I pulled out all the stops, showing her exactly how amazing their lives could be with me. But she doesn’t want it and she doesn’t want me, and there’snothingI can do about that. You want to lecture someone? Go find Moira Bishop. Her house is about ten blocks from here.”
Harper glares at me for a long time. Finally, in a calm tone, she says, “So, you wanted to show her how she could fit into your life?”
“Not just her, the boys, too,” I tell her, feeling defensive. “And they loved it there, by the way. The pool, the screening room, nice big bedrooms,Disneyland…”
“You just assumed that she’d be cool leaving her entire life behind so you wouldn’t have to be the one to make that kind of sacrifice?”
“Yeah, what a hardship it would be—a housekeeper, gardeners, money …” I snap, then I take a deep breath and calm myself down. “But it doesn’t matter. She already decided it wasn’t going to work before I even broached the subject of a future together. She just shut down and put up a wall, like she’s so damn sure I’d eventually leave her.”
“It kind of makes sense based on how her life has gone so far.”
“Like I told her, just because she’s been let down, it doesn’t mean I’m going to do that to her, too. But she doesn’t believe it, and there’s nothing I can do to change that, Harper. Nothing. You can’t convince someone to love you. They either do or they don’t.”
“I know she loves you,” Harper says. “I can tell. Digger can, too, and he knows her better than anyone. Before you guys left for California, he told me his sister had never been this happy, not even when she and Everett got married.”
“Please stop. This is hard enough on me without you stirring it all up again. I’m going to stay here until your wedding, and then I’m going home. It’s not how I want it, but it’s reality, and the sooner I face it, the better off I’ll be.”
“You’re not even going to try to talk to her again?” Harper leans forward and stabs me in the chest with her pointer finger. Hard.
Leaning out of her reach, I say, “I’m going to respect her decision, which is the right thing to do. As Moira pointed out, she’s an adult. She knows her mind. If we had something worth fighting for, I’m sure she’d fight.” Brandishing a sparerib in her direction, I add, “Now, I appreciate you bringing me supper and trying to help, but there’s nothing you can do to change what’s happened, so please just leave it alone.”
Harper slowly stands up and gives me a kiss on the cheek. “You two are so perfectly suited, a blind person could see it.”
“Tell that to Moira,” I scoff.
“Oh, I did, and believe me when I tell you, she’s being as big of a jackass as you are.” Before I can figure out how to respond to that, she adds, “You’re one of the good ones, Ethan. Don’t you forget it.”
A lot of good that does me. I’ve lost the only woman I’ve ever truly loved, and the sons I was starting to believe could be mine.
