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“You look tired.”
I gasp as Alpha Waverly’s reflection appears in the water beside mine. Her dark brunette hair and pale skin create a sharp contrast. My toes are dipped deep in the creek, and as I startle, they create a ripple in the water that washes both of our reflections away.
I turn to her, this woman who I’m supposed to trust implicitly, and offer her a tight smile. “It’s hard to sleep in an unfamiliar place.”
She probably knows I’m lying. I slept fine amongst the Anchorage Lake Pack while I was visiting my sister. And I settled in fine with the East Terrace Green Pack from the very first day that Jimmy brought me to join them.
We’re shifters. We’re literally built for adaptation.
But this place betrays expectations. There’s no adapting to the Sovereign Pack for those of us who weren’t raised here. Nothing is familiar here, not even the faces. And for me, after losing my mate, I desperately want to be surrounded by the people I have left.
I know what an honor it is to be here. For the fates to have chosen me as the next Luna Sovereign. In spite of that, I can’t help but feel lonely.
I haven’t had contact with the outside world in almost eight weeks. I know my sister is safe because the Sovereign Pack gets an uncanny amount of outside news filtered in somehow, but otherwise I haven’t been able to reach out and ask her how she’s feeling. She’s newly mated; Tess shouldn’t have to be with a new pack all alone.
Or maybe that’s just my hang up. Remembering the days when Callum was sometimes the only one who was kind to the outsider that became his Beta’s mate. The East Terrace Green Pack still embraced me eventually—and I haven’t had contact with any of them either. I wonder how my elderly neighbors must be doing without me there to help with their gardening and make sure the trash goes out on time. I liked feeling like I had a purpose and being useful to my neighbors and to the pack.
Feeling sorry for myself is getting old, but I can’t seem to stop the onslaught of feelings that flow each time I think about everything I lost. It doesn’t help that I feel guilty about not being there for Callum when there’s no telling how he’s holding up. He lost his Beta and my sister all in one fell swoop.
I know Tess wasn’t technically his to keep, but he loved her all the same. The guilt that resides in my chest knowing all of us have abandoned him is almost unbearable. Callum is a good Alpha. A kind one. The same can’t be said for all the others.
Present company… leaves something to be desired.
Alpha Waverly studies me closely with narrowed eyes. It’s the way she always looks at me, as if she’s sizing me up and thinking of how best to shave down my flaws.
I have my suspicions that Waverly thought she would be the next Luna Sovereign. Truth be told, her breeding would be better for it than mine. She’s been part of the Sovereign Pack all her life, so she knows the etiquette already. She proudly told me herself when I first arrived that her family had served generations of Luna Sovereigns, the matriarchs of the family always finding their mates among the few men of the pack. Meanwhile, I feel out of place here. I love history, and I seem to know more of it by heart than many of the shifters here, but I lack something that I can’t quite put my finger on.
Waverly sees it too. We both know I don’t deserve to be the next Luna Sovereign; I come with far too much baggage weighing me down. But no one ever dares question fate.
“I’ve been called away to handle an important matter with our Southern sisterhood.” Waverly finally tells me why she sought me out. She doesn’t do it often. I’m surprised to hear her mention a Southern sisterhood since I didn’t know any such thing existed. “Lydia will supervise your lessons this evening. You’ll be meeting with a member of Cupid’s Pack to learn about the prophecies of our ancestors. Their Luna is well versed in them.”
“I thought most of those prophecies were false?” Disproven generations ago if I’m not mistaken. I don’t understand how Waverly chooses what to make me study, from what I can tell she’s more interested in keeping me busy than letting me learn things that could actually be meaningful.
Waverly’s eyebrows knit closer together. I can tell it takes everything she has to hold her tongue with me. “We don’t know that the prophecies are false. Perhaps they’re… still in progress. Don’t question anything during your lessons. We have a tenuous relationship with Cupid’s Pack already. The last thing we need is you stirring up trouble.” I hate the stern tone she takes with me as if I’m an unruly child she’s disciplining.
She turns on her heel. I let her go without a word to defend myself. I learned my first week here that Alpha Waverly has no interest in who I was before I came here. As far as she’s concerned, I’m trouble she’s been saddled with.
I laugh softly to myself just thinking about it. No one has ever deemed me troublesome. I was the easiest of my three siblings. The perfect student. A model mate to Jimmy up until the bitter end.
I don’t think I’ve ever caused any trouble for anyone until Waverly, and it’s not like I came here by choice.
The Sovereign Pack whispered warnings to me in the middle of nowhere, calling out to me in such a way that I thought it was the spirits speaking to me. I was answering to a higher power, just not the one I expected.
Not a day has passed here where I don’t wake up feeling like a mistake was made. After all the years spent living in the shadow of my parents’ greatest sin, it seems odd now to be called up to serve as a beacon of light for all the packs that call North America their home. I’m not prepared to fill that role as I struggle with the weight of my grief. I wish I would have at least had more time to grieve for my mate before being brought here.
I don’t pretend to understand it, but the spirits could have chosen anyone—even Waverly—and they chose me.
That means no matter how melancholy I’ve felt being isolated here with an unfamiliar pack, it’s my duty to keep showing up for lessons. To learn everything a Luna Sovereign must know to serve our wolves. And hope that maybe this is a second chance for me to fill my heart with something other than grief.
* * *
My first thought when I lay eyes on the shifter sitting across from Lydia in the study is that he looks uncomfortable. Lydia, in contrast, physically relaxes as I step into the wood-paneled room. Her eyes brighten at the sight of me.
“There you are. I was worried maybe Alpha Waverly didn’t tell you to meet me after all.” She smiles sheepishly, showing off the small gap between her front teeth.
Lydia knows better than anyone that Waverly resents my presence here. She’s done everything she can to be my biggest cheerleader to make up for it. Lydia is the kindest shifter I’ve ever met, and if I was the one selecting a new Luna Sovereign, it would be her. With her dirty blonde hair in a neat braid and bright blue eyes that always seem filled with warmth, I can’t imagine anyone more comforting to lead the shifter community.
But it’s too late for that now. The announcement has already gone out.
