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“What about me?” I asked. “Can’t I help this time?”
My father frowned. “Prove to me you can use your darkfire, then I’ll let you go dragon hunting with your sister.”
3
SHANE
There wasnothing here but ashes.
My body and mind were numb as I walked through what once was the town where my pack, the Nightshade, resided. The buildings, the houses, the streets, the flowerbeds along the sidewalks … everything had turned to ash. The scent of burnt rubber hung heavy in the air, made worse by the unusually hot summer afternoon.
I had known what I would or wouldn’t find here, but I had wanted to come back. I had to see if there was any way for us to come back to our homes, even if only in the distant future.
Besides, I had once walked away when I thought the town had been completely burned and everyone here had died, and neither of those things had been true. This time, I had to be sure.
But being here was obviously a mistake.
There was no vestige of the poison anymore, but that could be because ashes covered everything. Even the forest around the town had been decimated.
This place—where I had grown up, where I had trained, where I had fallen in love, where I had lost my mate—was gone now.
I stopped in front of Raika’s house. It was now not much more than black half-walls. She had gotten a few things out before we evacuated, but it didn’t seem enough. I wanted more things from her, any damn thing I could salvage from this pile of rubble.
Anything from her.
Inhaling deeply, I stepped into her house, the charred floor creaking under my weight. Just like the outside, the inside was unrecognizable and all black. I stepped to where a shelf was before and picked up what once had been a portrait of when she had just turned sixteen, now it was broken glass and a tiny piece of burned paper.
Even so, I tucked that piece of paper in my pocket.
I turned to her bedroom. In my mind, I imagined myself opening the door and stepping into an alternate reality. Raika would be inside her room, tidying up her things or getting dressed after a shower. She would see me and smile at me. Then she would press her body to mine and kiss me.
My heart seized.
The door was gone, now black and fallen to the floor. And her room … her bed was a charred mess, everything melted or burned into pure ashes. I could see her lying on the mattress as the fire enveloped her body and took her away from me forever.
Breathing hard, I turned away from the room. My heart hammered against my chest and I had to close my eyes and focus. I counted to ten, then to twenty, then to fifty, but my agony and sudden panic kept growing.
I ran from the house and only stopped when I was in the middle of the driveway. I bent forward, my hands on my knees as I took in deep breaths and tried controlling my emotions.
It stirred inside of me anyway. The Shadow Wolf. He moved in my chest, in my gut. He wanted me to turn my agony and panic into rage. He wanted to come out and destroy everything and everyone.
Raika had been cremated a week ago, and the full moon had passed. I had been locked in the same room Killian and Lavinia had prepared for me many months ago, but even now, I could feel the Shadow Wolf. He was stronger than before. In some ways, I wanted to surrender to him. It would be easy to forget what happened and erase this constant pain if he took over. But I couldn’t. Not yet. Not until my brother and sister were safe, until my pack was whole again.
Until then, I had to endure this pain, to push the Shadow Wolf down, and just survive.
It was hard, though. Living without her.
My chest hurt again and I rubbed the heel of my hand against the spot right above my heart. It had been doing that since Raika died. I guess it was the depthless hole in my heart, and it wouldn’t stop hurting until the day I died.
Slowly, I walked away from the house and into main street.
Killian appeared from around another house and fell into step with me, a melted tablet in his hands.
“There’s nothing here,” he said, his tone somber. “We can’t save one damn thing.” He threw the tablet to the side.
“I figured, but I had to come and see.”
He nodded. “I know.”
