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“If you say so,” I muttered.
My sister turned and took several steps back. “Ready?”
I glanced at her. My sister and I had traded the formal outfits for workout appropriate clothes—yoga leggings, tank tops, and sneakers. She had tied her hair into two braids, while I preferred a ponytail.
I sighed. “What do you think?”
She chuckled. “Just … relax. You’ll get it.”
That was what she had been saying for the last four days. When I woke up five days ago without any memories, I had tried using darkfire and the thing just flickered in my open palms and died a horrible death. When I tried again, it was inconsistent and weak. I had no real control over it. I had wanted to train right away, but they had told me to take it easy for one day. Maybe in that one day, my memories would come back and then I wouldn’t need to train, because according to them, I had been using darkfire for over a year and I had gotten good at it. The wolf within me had practically gone silent since I dedicated myself to my demon side now.
Honestly, after they told me my pack tried to kill me, that they had killed my mother, and that the injury that had taken my memories away had been caused by them, I didn't mind. Six days ago, a group had found me when I was out on a mission with Ivy and attacked us, intent on finishing the job they started a year ago. Good riddance to my wolf.
I watched as Ivy extended her hands in front of herself, palms turned up. I mirrored her. She called on her darkfire and black flames covered her hands, flickering up past her head.
I took in a deep breath and focused. I opened myself up to my magic. I felt it fill my veins, flooding my chest. I conjured black flames above my palms. They flickered once, twice. I held my breath, knowing they would be out in another second. No, I had to focus. To think about the darkfire, to dive into the magic, to swim in an ocean of darkfire, to breathe and eat its energy. It was part of me; I just had to trust them, trust myself.
The flames held on. I gasped and stared at Ivy.
“Yes! Keep doing whatever you’re doing!” She molded the flames in her palms, and they took the shape of a half dozen darts. “Keep your focus and shape them. Whatever you can do. A dart, a stake, a ball, even a worm. I’ll take it.”
I laughed and lost my concentration. The flames disappeared instantly, and my laughter died as suddenly as it came.
“Shit.”
“No, no shit. You did it!” Ivy beamed at me. “Next time, I’ll leave the jokes out of it.”
“I like your jokes.” Ivy was fun, easygoing, friendly, caring. She had been the most patient with me and helped me more than anyone else in this house.
She did a mock curtsy. “I’m glad to be of service.”
I laughed again then forced myself to stop.
I had to make this magic thing work. I felt like, if I could reach into my darkfire, remember how to use it, then it would unlock everything else. As soon as I touched the magic, controlled it, an avalanche would ensue and I would be myself again.
Right now, I was a shelf, mostly empty, with no thoughts of my own.
Did I like chocolate, or was that new? What was my favorite color? What was my favorite food? What was my mother like? Did she try protecting me from our pack? Was she good to me? Did she love me? How did Roman and I find out about the mating bond? I guessed I could ask him but I wanted to remember it all by myself. I wanted to feelit.
And for some reason, I was sure I could figure it out if I mastered darkfire.
“All right. All right.” I rolled my shoulders and let out a deep, steadying breath. “Let’s try this again.”
Serious, Ivy nodded and took the same stance as before. Her darkfire came easily to her, and I liked to think it was because she was a full-blooded demon. However, I just wanted to believe that to make me feel better. I wasn’t a full-blooded demon, and from the tales I heard, I could rival Ivy in power, regardless.
I wanted that back.
I called on my darkfire and focused on my hands, on my upturned palms. I envisioned the magic, a dark, oily liquid swimming through my veins, flooding every inch of me like my blood, breathing magic into each one of my pores and cells. I could do this. I knew this. It was instinctive. This magic was a part of me.
Flames sparked to life in my hands. I concentrated and visualized them stronger, bigger, brighter. The darkfire expanded from a small flame to a ball enveloping my hand, to a flare that shot up toward the ceiling.
I snickered. “I’m doing it.”
“Focus,” Ivy said, her voice sharp for once.
I put her out of my mind, focusing on my magic, on my darkfire.
I made the flames even bigger.
