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On one hand, I wanted to push her against the wall, press my body to hers, kiss her until the mating bond’s call was stronger than anything else and she remembered me, remembered us. I wanted to show her how much I missed her.
On the other hand, I didn’t want to scare her. She seemed lost and confused, and she didn’t believe me. Rage sparked inside of me, and the Shadow Wolf stirred … what had Paimon and Dot done to her? Was this some kind of spell that blocked her memories? How did I undo it? I needed to talk to Lavinia.
As we walked through the long tunnel, I wondered how Paimon had gotten away with this. I had seen him kill her. I had held her body. I had felt her life leaving her. I had taken her away, prepared her body, laid her in that pyre, and lit it. I saw her beautiful body become ashes right in front of my eyes. I had gathered her ashes and put them in a vase and stored them away.
How was she here, a few steps in front of me?
I was grateful beyond words. Seeing her like this was enough to bring me to my knees, but I still had to make sense of it. How had she died, and then not?
I would worry about that answer later. Right now, I wanted to get us out of here. Find a way out of this mountain.
And then what? Would we fight? Would we still go after the dragon? All I could think of was taking Raika away from everyone and everything, dragon be damned.
But if we left the dragon, then Paimon would get it and become stronger. And even if he hadn’t killed Raika, he still had to pay for all the suffering he had brought upon me and my pack. Since the beginning when Conri invaded and massacred the pack and had the witches take me away, it was Paimon’s doing.
He would suffer for it all.
Paimon and Roman.
I gritted my teeth and clenched my hand around the flashlight. It creaked under my grip, and I realized I almost broke it. I released my iron-clad hold and let out a long breath.
The anger didn’t fade.
I would like to think I was the better man and would give him the benefit of the doubt, but from where I was standing, there was no doubt. Roman had helped Paimon take Raika that night, to fake her death. He disappeared that night, and we assumed he had died in the fire along with so many of the Whitecrest wolves. And now he was pretending to be her mate.
The motherfucker.
Jealousy burned white hot in my veins.
“Have you kissed Roman?” I hadn’t intended to ask, but the words flew out of my mouth.
Raika halted suddenly and turned her wide eyes at me. “That’s none of your business.”
“The hell it isn’t.” I stalked to her. “You’re my mate. If—“
“No, I’m not,” she snapped. “Roman is my mat—“
I growled and pushed her to the wall. “I’ll prove you’remine.” She gasped and raised her hands, pushing against my chest. But I was stronger than her. I splayed my hands on the wall on either side of her head and leaned into her. “Tell me you don’t feel this.”
“I …”
I pressed my body onto hers slowly. If she protested this time, I would let go. I would never, ever take her by force, even if she was mine and mine alone. Raika’s body reacted to me. She gasped again and arched her back, gluing her breasts to my chest. Dear moon …
“I know you feel it. I can see it.” I lowered my head to her shoulder, and she stretched her neck. I smiled as I grazed my nose along her throat. She inhaled sharply, her hands closing around my shoulders, her nails sinking into my skin. Her sweet jasmine scent mixed with her arousal, and I growled again. “I can smell it.” I shifted my weight and pressed a little more against her, so she could feel my desire for her. A little moan escaped her lips and I almost lost it. It took everything in me to not rip her clothes off and take her right here, right now.
But next time I was inside her, she would know who I was.
With great effort, I stepped back and stared at her.
She looked halfway undone with her eyes half-closed, her lips parted, and her body tight. My hard-on was having trouble fitting in my pants.
Raika blinked. “What …?”
I crossed my arms. “Don’t bother denying it because I saw, I felt, and I smelled the desire on you.” Shit, I was still seeing and feeling and smelling all of that. “Tell me you felt like that with any other man, and I won’t insist you’re my mate again.”
She opened her mouth. Closed it. Standing straight, she smoothed down her clothes, ran a hand through her long hair. “I … I have no memories of the past, only of the last two weeks or so. I don’t know how I felt for Roman before.”
I shook my head. “This is not about remembering. You don’t remember me, but tell me what you felt just now? Wasn’t there something here—” I pointed right in the center of my chest, beside my heart. “—pulling you toward me? A force you couldn’t explain, but couldn’t deny?”
