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“What about me? I was stupid enough to fall for Trey. I convinced myself he would change, that he wasn’t as bad as I knew he was.”
“He manipulated you. Nothing that happened with Trey is your fault.”
“I know he’s to blame, but I also know I saw the signs and partly ignored them because I liked the attention. What does that say about me?”
“That you were vulnerable, and he knew it and preyed on it.”
Grant stroked the side of my face with the backs of his fingers. “Promise me you’ll try to stop blaming yourself. You got out. You knew what you needed to do, and you found a way to do it.”
“If your brother hadn’t been there… If he hadn’t been willing to help me…”
“I’m really thankful he was.”
“Maybe don’t give him such a hard time then.”
“Rogue and I are a whole other story. Let me tell you about me first.”
“Then start talking.”
“I was the commander of my force recon platoon. We were stationed in the desert, and we’d completed numerous successful search and rescue missions. When fighting began to heat up in our area, we initially engaged as an adjunct to a local guerrilla strike force.”
“That sounds scary.”
“Everything we did was scary, but then we were assigned to go on the offensive against a particular camp. Something felt off about the plan from the start, and I still believe they intended to deliberately sacrifice us in order to stir support for a more aggressive campaign in the region.”
I stared at him. “That’s… that’s horrible. What happened?”
“The enemy was prepared for us. Either their spies had worked out our plan or someone on the inside had tipped them off. It was a disaster. Blade, my platoon sergeant, Fox, one of the scouts on Rhys’s recon team, and Morris, one of my team leaders, were captured. I was ordered to retreat without attempting to recover them.”
I felt sick to my stomach imagining Grant in that position. “You would never leave someone like that. The thing you want most is to protect the people you care about.”
“I didn’t leave them. I defied orders and led Rhys and several others on a rescue mission. We got Fox and Blade to safety, but Morris didn’t make it. His injuries were too severe.” When he choked on his words, I rose and brushed the tears from his eyes.
“I’m so sorry you went through that. I can’t believe you were ordered to just walk away. You did the right thing. No matter what anyone else thinks, you’re a hero.”
23
GRANT
Ilooked up at Jacob. He seemed so sincerely upset for me, but I’d never been able to accept that I’d done all I could. I wanted to save everyone and bring them home whole. “Blade might never speak again, and Fox barely has use of his right hand.”
“You don’t know what more time to heal might do.”
I nodded. I hadn’t even realized I’d said that out loud.
“How did you get so wise?”
Jacob smiled. “I’ve fucked up a lot, and… Rogue has done everything he can to make me see it’s not my fault, but I know how hard it is to accept that.”
“Nothing about the situation with Trey is your fault. The man is a disgusting motherfucker, and I will make sure he can never hurt you again.”
“Let’s not talk about Trey now. Let me help you. What happened after you got Blade out?”
“I was court-martialed. I would likely have been given a dishonorable discharge, but X pulled some strings, and I was given an other-than-honorable discharge while Rhys and the others who volunteered for the rescue mission received general discharges under honorable conditions.”
“What does that mean?”
“I don’t get any VA benefits and future employers are always going to question my service record, but I didn’t lose any rights or have to serve jail time. Rhys has all his benefits, except for educational ones, and it’s not considered a serious stain on his record.”
