Page 24 of Pleasantly Pursued

I swallowed against a suddenly dry throat. My form? “What do you mean? I have been standing demurely in public like you instructed.”

“Not your posture . . . Your eyes are too round for a boy, and much too large. Your cheekbones too pronounced, your nose too dainty.” His voice dropped. “And that is only your face of which I speak. You are a feminine specimen, Thea, in every way. I fear now that we have fooled ourselves into believing this ruse was possible.”

“So far we have managed to fool everyone.”

“Strangers, yes.” He shook his head. “James married a woman six months ago because they were found alone at a ball. They were dancing, but that was all, and now they aremarried. I refuse to repeat his mistakes and marry for the sake of a reputation.”

I winced and dropped my gaze so he would not notice it. Given the dimness in the room, I believed myself safe from that detection. Drawing my shoulders up, I raised my eyes to meet his. “We will not be like James and his new wife, because I would never require that of you, regardless of what happens. I chose to leave Mrs. Moulton’s and strike out on my own. My reputation was never very secure to begin with, Ben. I do hope to keep it intact if I can, but not at the expense of a marriage I do not want.”

He was quiet for a few beats before nodding. “Then we proceed as planned, and we are exceedingly careful. We have come too far to give up now. We ought to see this through.”

“That would be ideal.”

He moved away to ready himself for sleep, and I cleaned my teeth and splashed my face with water before sliding into the bed. Benedict’s message could not be clearer: if we were to be discovered and my reputation irreparably damaged, he would not do the proper thing and ask for my hand. If we were discovered, like James and his wife, I would not walk away with a safeguarding marriage proposal. I could not blame the man for not wanting to be shackled to me, not when we have always been so at odds with one another. Indeed, I did not truly expect more from him in that way. But to be told outright I would be left on my own in such a situation created an ache in my chest that tore open like the ripping of a weak seam.

I’d felt before that I did not have anyone, not really. But the reminder, the certainty, was a lonely feeling.

The bed groaned under Benedict’s weight, and I turned on my side away from him, despite the fact that I could not see him over the mound of our bags. I was mildly surprised he chose to share the mattress, and knowing he slept on the other side of our bags gave me a strangely victorious feeling.

The false sense of friendship I had begun to feel with Benedict was alarming, and his words had served to remind me of our place with one another. He was too handsome, his smile too beguiling, for me to do anything but continue to hold him in contempt. Otherwise, I was afraid of what I would allow myself to once again feel.

Chapter9

THEA

Morning arrived far too soon, and I slid from the bed and crossed to the small, cracked mirror to pin up my hair. Benedict stretched audibly, his grunts and groans reminiscent of an older man attempting to heave himself out of a deep-cushioned chair.

“Struggling?” I asked, my attention on my hair in the mirror.

He immediately quieted. “I do not know what you mean.”

Yes, he most certainly did.

We tiptoed around one another for the next quarter hour, preparing to leave. Once we were ready, he paused at the door. “I will go out first and signal if it is safe to follow.”

“What will the signal be? An owl’s hoot? Perhaps you can trill like a chicken.”

He looked thoughtful. “A patterned knock on the door.”

“You are no fun.”

“I am extremely fun.” He looked at me dismissively. “Everyone else thinks so.”

Precisely. Everyoneelse.

He unbolted the door and stepped outside. A moment later, he leaned back in through the door. “Cluck, cluck.”

I blinked.

He widened his eyes. “Cluck.”

“Yes, I heard.”

“Then shall we?” He gestured to the corridor behind him.

“Of course. Only, will you tell me how you believed that to be atrillof a chicken?”

“That is precisely how chickens sound.”

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